It's Monday.

March 28th and

the and the the

It's Monday.

It's Monday. It's March 28th. Monday.

It's March 28th.

And the word of the day is Yaldu, which is the American South's very elegant way of

expressing the conditional perfect tense, as in you all would have y'all

do three apostrophes awesome I would submit that the entire southern dialect

was just developed by a guy who was trying to get rid of a massive overstock on apostrophes.

No illusions.

I'm Heath thenwright and broadcasting Delayed from America's bar center.

We are the Skeptocrats. On episode 34,

GOP lawmakers in North Carolina remind us that they're obsessed with the

genitals of school children. The K K K K is totally on board with Making America Great Again.

The National Inquirer alleges that Ted Cruz has been

fucking women in non-metaphorical ways too.

And a New York doctor learns the difference between manual labor and a hand job the hard way.

But first, the roundup. On the news wire tonight the Supreme Court essentially upheld Colorado's legalization of

marijuana on Monday by declining to hear a challenge brought by Nebraska and Oklahoma.

The neighboring states claimed that Colorado was allowing marijuana to pour into their states, playing its music too loud, and wearing its pants all half down their

asses like the Negroes do. Fearing that someone might not yet know that they

...