34. “It’s unromantic if my boyfriend doesn’t pay for date night”

Money For Couples

Ramit Sethi

Relationships, Society & Culture, Investing, Business

4.6 • 3.1K Ratings

🗓️ 15 March 2022

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Ashley and Josh both have high incomes but they find themselves arguing about who pays for what. Like a few past guests, Ashley thinks certain things are the man’s responsibility to pay for, but Josh wants a partnership. He feels like her spending is more out of obligation than true togetherness. These unspoken expectations are toxic. They’re eating away at what they both like about being together, and they need to be addressed right away. We all have internal beliefs and expectations around money, and they have deep roots. Let’s do some digging with Ashley and Josh to see what we can uncover. Connect with Ramit Website Instagram Twitter Facebook YouTube Linkedin If you and your partner have a money issue and you want my help, I occasionally select a couple to work with, free of charge. Apply for my help here. Produced by Crate Media.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Before we get back to the episode, I want to make sure you know about something that I'm sending out this Saturday.
0:05.0	You know, when I was in my 20s, I spent money like a lot of people in their 20s do going out for drinks, eating cheap food, a little bit of traveling, but in my 40s, my spending looks really different.
0:17.0	And that's totally normal. Have you ever thought about how your money spending changes from your 20s to your 30s of 40s and beyond?
0:25.0	That's what I'm going to talk about this Saturday.
0:28.0	Because as you earn more and as your values change, so should your spending.
0:33.0	Get on my podcast newsletter at IWT.com slash podcast newsletter so I can share what changed in my spending in my 20s, 30s and 40s.
0:42.0	That's this Saturday, October 7th. You can only get this at IWT.com slash podcast newsletter. Now back to the episode.
0:54.0	I feel like my spending is genuine, but I feel like he doesn't think that it is.
0:59.0	You do it to kind of check it off out of the box every now and then, and it's not like a genuine war in this together situation.
1:07.0	I'm not going to be able to provide the life that she expects.
1:12.0	Which makes you feel what?
1:14.0	Like not good enough, scared that that's where her mind goes first is the cost of things.
1:21.0	Would you say that the things she brought up to you are shallow?
1:25.0	Somewhat?
1:26.0	Yes.
1:27.0	I hate that this is the subject matter. Like I just hear a lot about money.
1:30.0	Like how big is the ring? Where is the wedding?
1:33.0	These nanny things.
1:36.0	Those aren't what's going to get us through in the long run.
1:39.0	Things can happen.
1:40.0	If you had to bring up who's going to pay for the meal ahead of time, Ashley.
1:47.0	How would that make you feel?
	...

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