What would it take to become the woman your husband simply can't stop thinking about?

Turns out love is learnable, and today's conversation is going to show you exactly how.

I recently sat down with the wonderful Ellen Fisher, a devoted fan of the Sixth Intimacy Skills,

who got wonderfully personal about our own marriage along the way.

We get into what men really want,

but rarely say out loud, and why so much of what we've been taught to do, like trying harder

and communicating more can backfire. Laura Doyle, thank you so much for coming on to my podcast.

Thanks for having me here, Ellen. It's great to be here. Yeah. I have so many words, so many things I want to talk to you about. And I'm halfway through your book, The Empowered Wife. My sister has been positively nagging me. What's the positive way to say the word nagging? She's like, Ellen, you got to read this book. Just, Ellen, have you started reading this book yet? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll get to it. You know, I have five kids. Like, I have to commit to something. And I just hadn't committed over the months. And she's finding your book so helpful, transformative for her life, for her marriage and her relationship. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, okay, we'll see. Like, I was just a little, maybe a little

skeptical even. transformative for her life, for her marriage and her relationship. And I'm like, yeah, yeah,

okay, we'll see. Like I was just a little, maybe a little skeptical even at first.

Sure. You know? And then finally I just, I decided I'm going to read this book. And I'm halfway

through your book now and I'm a little blown away. But how simple, how simple it is for one

and how empowering it is.

That's why it's called the empowered wife. And a realization I'm having is that I think for a lot

of years, I've been with my husband for 22 years. We started dating when we were 15 and 16,

got married at 21, so we dated for six years. But I think like over time, I maybe subconsciously began to believe that, you know, the longer

you're with someone, the more you can just like relax and do it and not worry, like not

that you worry about it, but does not be quite as intentional about your relationship as you

are in the beginning.

But what's funny is that you expect your partner to be intentional.

Maybe you're not going to be as intentional and then you're so quick to start pointing the finger and say, oh, he's not doing this and he's not doing that. And then I'm becoming this grumpy person

all the while confused why he's being grumpy back at me. And so your book is like pretty much blowing my mind.

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