333. Why do we love to hate?
The Psychology of your 20s
iHeartPodcasts
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 16 September 2025
⏱️ 52 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Hate is one of those emotions we don’t like to admit we feel – it’s messy, intense, and often laced with guilt. But it’s also deeply human. It can flare up in obvious moments of conflict, or linger quietly as resentment, judgment, or mistrust. But it’s how we engage with it that makes the big difference. In this episode, we explore the reasons we love to hate - where it comes from, why it’s so powerful, and the ways it can both protect and harm us. We’ll look at how it spreads in a hyperconnected world, and ways we can respond to it if we feel it in ourselves or from others.
We’ll explore:
• The roots of hatred in group identity, safety and insecurity
• Why hating can feel good
• Personality traits of trolls
• Why our biggest critics can be those closest to us
• How hate affects our mind and body
• How to stop being a hater, and how to respond to hate from others
If you want to explore this difficult emotion without judgement, this episode is for you.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is an I-Heart podcast. |
| 0:08.4 | Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk |
| 0:15.7 | through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. |
| 0:26.9 | Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, |
| 0:33.2 | old listeners, wherever you are in the world. It is so great to have you here back for another episode |
| 0:38.8 | as we of course break down the psychology of our 20s. Today, my lovely listeners, we're |
| 0:46.7 | talking about something a little bit different, a little bit less positive, a little bit less |
| 0:50.6 | uplifting than I'm sure you guys are used to. In fact, like the complete opposite |
| 0:55.6 | of all of that, we are talking about hate and why we secretly love to hate, why we secretly |
| 1:06.0 | love being haters. Be honest with me here. There is something in all of us, whether you are in touch |
| 1:12.9 | with it or not, that may be slightly envious of other's success, even if you try not to be, |
| 1:19.6 | that maybe enjoys the drama of reality TV, even if you know, like, oh, maybe this isn't |
| 1:25.2 | the best, that secretly kind of gets hooked by public |
| 1:30.2 | outrage or by cancel culture that enjoys being a hater. |
| 1:36.3 | I'll be honest, you know, sometimes I get way too into celebrity drama. |
| 1:40.6 | It's like my guilty pleasure when I know I shouldn't, when I know that, you know, 90% of it |
| 1:46.1 | is incorrect. And especially when I know how hard it is to receive public hate and have a lot of |
| 1:52.3 | angry people in your DM saying awful things. But it's like the same reason that we get drawn |
| 1:57.8 | to gossip or wanting to know what couples argue about. We love the heightened |
| 2:03.7 | sensations and the social element to hating on other people. Like I said, I would make a pretty good |
| 2:10.9 | guess that everyone listening has felt this weird emotion at some point in their lives. Whether you |
| 2:17.4 | want to acknowledge it or not, there is no shame here. |
... |
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