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The Psychology of your 20s

332. The triangular theory of love

The Psychology of your 20s

iHeartPodcasts

Relationships, Education, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Fitness, How To, Mental Health, Social Sciences, Science

4.81.7K Ratings

🗓️ 14 September 2025

⏱️ 22 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We all want to know the secret to true, lasting love so that we can perhaps have a shot at finding it. So in today's episode, we're breaking down perhaps the most famous theory on this very topic, Robert Sternbery's Triangular Theory of Love. In this episode, we talk about: 

  • The 3 core ingredients of love: intimacy, passion, commitment

  • How different combinations form different kinds of relationships

  • Why “consummate love” is so rare, and hard to maintain

  • What the theory leaves out: culture, trust, respect, asexuality, polyamory 

  • A look at the newer “quadruple theory” of love 

Listen now! 

 

ORDER MY BOOK: https://www.psychologyofyour20s.com/general-clean 

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com 

 

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

 

 

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is an I-Heart podcast.

0:08.4

Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk

0:15.7

through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology.

0:26.9

Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners,

0:33.2

old listeners, wherever you are in the world. it is so great to have you here back for another

0:38.8

episode as we of course break down the psychology of our 20s. Today, I'm introducing a new

0:46.8

kind of episode to the show, a shorter episode than what you are probably used to, where

0:52.7

we are going to cover some core psychology

0:55.9

principles, theories, concepts or studies that I think are interesting, that I think will help us

1:02.0

understand our 20s better, but which don't necessarily have enough to say about them to be made

1:09.0

into a full 45 minute to an hour long episode.

1:12.8

And you guys know I love to yap.

1:15.0

I can talk until the sun goes down.

1:19.2

But these episodes are just going to be a little bit more bite-sized, a little bit smaller

1:24.8

for your 15-minute commute, for your 15 15 minute, I don't know, arm workout.

1:30.4

For whatever you're doing, this is just going to be like a more bite-sized taste of our longer

1:34.8

episodes talking about concepts that I still think deserve to be in the psychology of your 20s

1:40.8

universe, but which just don't have enough research to them quite yet.

1:46.5

For our inaugural Psychology By its bonus episode, I wanted to talk about one of my

1:51.8

favorite theories that I've been trying to make into a full-length episode for years.

1:57.1

Finally, she's having her time to shine.

1:59.2

We are talking about the triangular theory of love.

...

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