333. That Thing You Can't Stop Thinking About: Ruminating in Widowhood

The Widowed Mom Podcast

Krista St-Germain

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Mental Health

4.9 • 695 Ratings

🗓️ 13 October 2025

⏱️ 12 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Have you been beating yourself up because you can't stop thinking about something?

Maybe it’s the last conversation you had with your person, something someone said that felt hurtful, or a decision you're questioning. You tell yourself to move on, but the thought returns like a boomerang, taking up mental space you desperately need for other things. The frustration builds as you wonder why you can't just let it go, especially when everyone says not to let things "live rent-free in your head."

Tune in this week to discover what’s really happening in your brain when you can’t stop thinking about something, and how to break the rumination cycle without forcing yourself to "just stop thinking about it."

Get full show notes, transcript, and more information here: https://www.coachingwithkrista.com/333

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to the Widowed Mom Podcast, episode 33,
0:04.7	That Thing You Can't Stop Thinking About, Ruminating in Widowhood.
0:11.1	Welcome to the Widowed Mom podcast, the only podcast that offers a proven process
0:16.7	to help you work through your grief to grow, evolve, and create a future you can truly
0:23.4	look forward to. Here's your host, Master Certified Life Coach, Grief Expert, Widow, and Mom,
0:31.0	Krista St. Germain.
0:33.7	Hey there, welcome to another episode of the podcast. Have you ever had that one thing that you just can't stop thinking about no matter how much you want to? Maybe it's something someone said that felt unfair or hurtful. Maybe it's the last conversation you had with your person and you keep replaying what you wish you'd said. Maybe it's a decision you made or one you didn't make and your
0:55.8	brain just won't let it go. You tell yourself to stop thinking about it and you try to move on,
1:01.3	but the thought just keeps coming back. If that sounds familiar, this episode is for you.
1:08.1	Today we're going to talk about what's actually happening when you can't stop
1:10.9	thinking about something or maybe someone, even though you desperately want to. And we'll talk about
1:15.8	how this relates to the five stages of grief, why the quote, don't let them live rent-free
1:20.6	in your head isn't actually very helpful, and what's really happening inside your brain and body
1:25.2	when a thought feels sticky. By the end, my hope is that you'll understand what's really happening inside your brain and body when a thought feels sticky? By the end,
1:28.5	my hope is that you'll understand what's going on, more specifically why it's not your fault
1:33.5	and never something to beat yourself up over, and what to do instead when it feels like your
1:38.8	mind just won't let that sticky thing go. The reason this episode came to my mind is because it happened to me
1:45.8	recently. I caught myself recently thinking about my ex. Again, for context, Hugo died in 2016.
1:53.3	I started dating my ex in 2020. We moved in together in 2021 and I just ended it in March of
2:00.3	2025. So anyway, I was feeling frustrated, noticing
2:04.2	myself thinking about him and noticing all the mental space that it was taking up. We had just had a
2:10.2	text exchange and I found myself just replaying it and thinking about it, but then being
	...

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