and sometimes we make decisions out of obligation and out of fear of what other people are going to think and feel

but we have got to be most concerned with what we think or feel above anybody else. That's number one.

Hey girl, hey! And welcome to the Self Love Fix podcast where we get relatable.

We share tea and we support each other on this journey of self love, self worth, personal development, self esteem and self care.

Because why wait until it's too late to start becoming the best version of ourselves? Let's start today!

And I'm your host, Beatrice. So let's get into it!

Hey girl, hey! And welcome back to the Self Love Fix. I am your host, Beatrice Kamau.

It is the day before Thanksgiving. I normally have this podcast up on Thursdays but I realize you know what, it's Thanksgiving.

We are probably not going to be listening to podcasts on Thanksgiving and also this podcast is kind of having to do with preparing for Thanksgiving.

Because this week we are going to jump into maintaining and setting boundaries during the holidays. This is episode 33 of the podcast.

So I know what the holidays coming up. It can be a tough time for some of us who maybe have toxic family members or who have trouble getting along with their families or a combination of both.

And actually one of the listeners had written me an email asking if I could kind of expand on this topic of having boundaries and what to do with the situation when you have toxic family members so shout out to you.

So this one is going to be a shorter podcast because it is a holiday we get. I want you to go enjoy the holidays but I will give you my five tips for maintaining and forming boundaries during the holidays.

So number one, if you have the option of not going to that family member's house as in maybe you had somebody else ask you to attend their own Thanksgiving or whichever holiday, family function or even friend function.

If you have the option of going somewhere else, don't feel guilty for how about how the other family member, other friend or whoever will feel if you don't go to their function, don't feel guilty.

Like you the main priority is you and how you feel and don't don't worry about it because what you need to be worrying about is how do you feel?

Like getting in your car and using you know using your gas and your energy to go drive to somebody else's place that you don't even really want to be at just because like of the formality of being your family of origin or just because it's you know people that you've known all your life that that's the reason you if that's the only reason you feel like you want you need to go to a particular family function.

I would really reconsider it and reconsider your feelings and what you're going to experience when you get there. Are you going to be drained? Are you going to do you feel like there's going to be an argument with people do you feel like you're not going to be hurt or seen?

Do you feel like you're going to be judged because at this point we're grown grown right we nothing is by force. I always say that nothing is by force.

Everything is we are always making decisions and sometimes we make decisions out of obligation and out of fear of what other people are going to think and feel but we have got to be most concerned with what we think or feel above anybody else that's number one.

Okay so onto number two if you know that you are going to be around toxic family members keep your interactions neutral so what I mean by keep your interactions neutral is maybe stick to more surface level things you know like the weather or a fun location that you visited or are interested in visiting or you might even ask them about that.

It's just things that are surface level and superficial enough to where you're not getting to the nitty gritty you're not having to deal with them bringing up personal things about you that you don't want to discuss you can really just keep it surface level how are the kids how are you how's work.

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