Welcome to Beach, Too Sandy, Water to Wet, a podcast featuring real reviews written by people who just need the world to know what they think.

Between you and me, I wanted to like this podcast, but I'd give it zero stars if I could.

Hello, everyone.

I welcome to Beach, City, Sandy Water, Too, at the podcast where we read the first, nope, we read the first and last review in the same dramatic environment.

Where did that come from?

I don't know.

I'm in my new studio today, so the vibes are off.

It's quite lovely.

It looks a little like hotel-y, but.

No, really? No, what about this beautiful Matisse painting that I purchased?

Oh, that's Matisse. Oh, wow. It's an original and for some reason you cut it in thirds.

$200 million. And then I thought, well, this way, now it's... They're each, whatever $200 million is divided by three.

So if I want to like just sell one of them, then I can do that.

No, I am in a hotel and look, it has like a little bathtub.

I, okay, I'm on my adventure.

Today I went to. Wait, wait, wait.

Your hotel has a bathtub?

Are you serious?

You're kidding.

Alexander, last night I slept in a literal caboose of an abandoned train. So, yeah, I'm very excited about my bathtub. Thank you. I've risked life and limb to be here with you all today. You go one night without a bathtub and you're like, oh my God, there's a bathroom again. I've risked life and limb, Alexander, to be here. And I wish you would give me a little credit and grace for that. Like, that's huge.

Okay. There's a bath. I've risked life and limb, Alexander, to be here. And I wish you would give me a little credit and grace for that. Like that's huge.

Okay.

...