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The SelfWork Podcast

324 SelfWork: How To Make And Keep Friends: A Conversation with Marisa Franco, Author of Platonic

The SelfWork Podcast

Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD

Education, Mental Health, Health & Fitness, Self-improvement

4.81.3K Ratings

🗓️ 10 February 2023

⏱️ 43 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

So much research and time and thought goes into romantic love. But what about platonic love – aka friendship? I loved Marisa Franco’s new book entitled Platonic and this interview is one of my favorites. I especially honor when she describes  friendships as being the relationships that are the steadiest your entire life. What you’re about to listen to is our conversation, with real, tangible, pragmatic steps to make friends and keep them. So if you struggle with that, this episode is for you! Or if you need reminding of how to maintain those friendships you enjoy, there's great advice there as well.

Here are three tips she offers and you can hear how grounded they are in reality:

  • Initiate; don't wait for friendships – they don’t happen organically. You have to actively look for friends. They're not going to show up on your doorstep. Maybe you make them at work or at school. But other than that, you need to be on the lookout.
  • Assume people like you. This may seem cocky but not really. Assuming you're liked gives you confidence and you're more likely to focus on letting others know what you like about them. Research calls this "the acceptance prophecy" and it works!
  • You can’t just show up once; join a community that meets regularly. She calls this "the exposure effect" - you're more likely to make friends when you show up in each other's lives on a regular basis. And if the meeting is about something you're truly interested in, then that helps as well.

 

Vital Links:

 Platonic: How the Science of Attachment Can Help You Make--and Keep--Friends: - order her book today!

Click Here for the fabulous offer from Athletic Greens - now AG1 - with bonus product with your subscription!

Click this link to try out some of the best CBD out there! Ozark Mountain Medicine's CBD products and get 10% off! 

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

 

 

 

 

 

Our Sponsors: * Check out BetterHelp and use my code betterhelp.com for a great deal: https://www.betterhelp.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is Selfwork, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford.

0:14.1

At Selfwork, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world

0:19.0

and what to do about them.

0:20.4

I'm Dr. Margaret, and Selfwork is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today

0:26.2

for your own Selfwork.

0:29.8

Hi, and welcome, or welcome back to Selfwork.

0:32.8

I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford, and I'm so glad you're here.

0:36.0

I have a wonderful interview for you today.

0:38.8

Before I talk about what we have for you today, here's a short but important sponsor message.

0:50.6

What better time than now to decide that you're going to do something for yourself in

0:54.3

2023?

0:55.3

Don't only add your sense of well-being, but you can begin every single day with an act

0:59.7

of true self-care, not a bubble bath, not even a therapy session, but by drinking one

1:04.6

glass full of 75 high-quality minerals, vitamins, probiotics, adaptogens, and whole food

1:10.6

source superfoods.

1:11.6

And support everything from your gut to your immune system to your energy level.

1:15.9

I use it every day and love this habit because if you're like me, self-care can get lost

1:21.1

in a day full of kids, work, meals, and whatever else comes along.

1:25.0

A G1 knows that people who listen to self-work are seeking to make their lives better, so

1:29.9

athletic greens is going to give you a free one-year supply of immune supporting vitamin D and

1:35.6

five travel packs with your first purchase.

1:38.5

Become your own green machine in the first hour you're up and around.

...

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