322 SelfWork: Understanding The Self-Absorption of Depression and The Damage It Can Do In Relationships
The SelfWork Podcast
Margaret Robinson Rutherford PhD
4.8 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 27 January 2023
⏱️ 28 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today we’re focusing on self-absorption – being highly preoccupied with your own concerns, your inner thoughts, or yourself in general. Depression can be viewed as an "implosion of the self" which creates self-absorption. I’m speaking of self-absorption not in a condescending or judgmental way, but as a way of helping the person who’s depressed, as well as the people who are trying to love them, to understand how two possible components of depression – anhedonia and apathy - can be perceived in relationships as self-centeredness or self-absorption. And, as always, what to do about it.
The listener voicemail this week is from a woman whose mother is always "one-upping" her, meaning her mom says she hurts more, or has accomplished more... the topic doesn't really matter. Her mother doesn't offer affirmation for her daughter, but remains in a weird kind of competition with her. And her daughter is very, very lonely.
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Article in Psychology Today by Dr. Leon Seltzer on self-absorption
The difference between anhedonia and apathy in depression
You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!
My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has been published and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!
And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Selfwork, and I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford. |
| 0:14.1 | At Selfwork, we'll discuss psychological and emotional issues common in today's world |
| 0:19.0 | and what to do about them. |
| 0:20.4 | I'm Dr. Margaret, and Selfwork is a podcast dedicated to you taking just a few minutes today |
| 0:26.2 | for your own Selfwork. |
| 0:29.8 | Hello, and welcome, or welcome back to Selfwork. |
| 0:32.8 | I'm Dr. Margaret Rutherford, I'm a clinical psychologist, and I began Selfwork six years |
| 0:37.1 | ago in order to extend the walls of my practice to those of you who might already be very interested |
| 0:42.0 | in psychological and emotional issues to those of you who might just been diagnosed or |
| 0:46.3 | you're having a relationship problem that you simply can't get wrapped around or to those |
| 0:51.2 | of you who might be a little skeptical about therapy or searching for any kind of help |
| 0:56.4 | in the emotional or mental health region. |
| 0:58.7 | But you will and to listen to Selfwork. |
| 1:00.9 | So I want to welcome all of you or any of you that don't even fit in those categories, |
| 1:05.5 | just welcome. |
| 1:06.5 | Today, we're focusing on Self-absorption, or being highly preoccupied with your own concerns, |
| 1:12.1 | your inner thoughts, yourself, in general. |
| 1:14.5 | This isn't an episode on narcissism, however, which is the personality or characterological |
| 1:19.0 | disorder that's most typically associated with Self-absorption, where someone seeks relationships |
| 1:24.5 | like a son seeking planets that will revolve around it, someone who needs the relationship |
| 1:29.4 | to be all about them. |
| 1:31.2 | The value you have for a narcissist lies in how steadily you give, forgive, forget, but |
... |
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