319: The "How Tos" of Deep Connection with Graham Chalfant
The Adult Chair Podcast with Michelle Chalfant
Michelle Chalfant
4.9 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 16 June 2022
⏱️ 45 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
We live in a world that's both more connected and more disconnected than ever. With things like Zoom, FaceTime, and social media, we can get in touch with others with the click of a button.
But we also have an epidemic of loneliness. We scroll by each other without really engaging with each other. Even in our most intimate relationships, we can easily find ourselves co-existing without connecting at the heart level.
The busyness of our world will naturally cause us to drift apart from each other without intentional effort, so a few years ago, my husband and I started building small "rituals of connection" into our week. These are moments – like our weekend coffee chats – that we've set aside to be fully present with each other and share more vulnerably, authentically, and from the heart.
During one of our recent coffee chats, we had a beautiful conversation about how we can create more connection in our relationships with each other and others, and with Graham's permission, I recorded our conversation to share with you all.
In this conversation, we talk about the power of intentional connection, how important true connection is for maintaining trust and happiness in relationships, and how you can build moments of connection into a busy schedule. Graham shares one of his favorite tools to take a conversation deeper and how this tool can help people who might feel threatened by intimacy begin to flex their vulnerability muscles and move into a deeper relationship with their partner.
Listen to discover:
- How you can build rituals of connection into your relationship
- Exercises to get the conversation flowing and create a deeper connection
- How to build up your ability to share emotions
- Ways to encourage your partner to share their emotions more
- Staying centered even when having a tough conversation
- The power of masterful listening and responding instead of reacting
- How to create more safety in your relationships
It's so easy to work and live alongside others but never really connect. If you've ever found yourself in a relationship or surrounded by people but still feeling lonely, this is why!
But with small, intentional steps, we can totally transform the nature of our relationships and find those soul connections we're all looking for. This episode gives an inside look into how two normal, busy people are practicing this together, and I hope it encourages you to start this journey with the ones you love – friends, family, partners, anyone!
"Drop inside and...drop below the chin. Get curious about what's going on in the body." - Michelle Chalfant
"If you can't identify [the emotion], just get the sense of what's going on in your body and share that." - Michelle Chalfant
"Expressing that is easy for everybody, and it's a great opening to deeper conversations." - Graham Chalfant
"If we as humans had ideas about the range of emotions that we can feel, we would say more than, 'I'm mad, sad, glad, afraid or ashamed.'" - Michelle Chalfant
"We have so many emotions we can feel, but we're not brought up to feel more emotions than those typical five." - Michelle Chalfant
"See if you can't sit down with the person in your life and just touch base with a couple words." - Graham Chalfant
"It would be a huge improvement for most couples and people in relationships to touch base once a day or a couple times a week." - Graham Chalfant
"We're getting in the habit of exchanging energy in this way." - Michelle Chalfant
"You want to always own your experience...that is a much more open way of inviting in that other person to discuss it versus putting that person in defense." - Michelle Chalfant
"Swooping in and fixing when someone feels bad is the worst thing that you can do for a relationship." - Michelle Chalfant
LINKS & RESOURCES
Share Your Love: Review The Adult Chair® Podcast
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-adult-chair/id941317634?mt=2&ign-mpt=uo%3D4
MORE ADULT CHAIR
The Adult Chair® Website
The Adult Chair® Membership
https://theadultchair.com/membership/
The Adult Chair® Events
https://theadultchair.com/events/
The Adult Chair® Coaching Certification
https://theadultchair.com/certification
STAY CONNECTED
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/themichellechalfant
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/TheMichelleChalfant/
The Adult Chair® Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theadultchair/
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Do you believe that if you are with the right person that your relationship should be easy |
| 0:07.5 | and you should not ever fight? |
| 0:10.9 | How about this one? |
| 0:11.9 | Have you ever heard that getting married or having a baby will mend a broken relationship? |
| 0:18.2 | Here's what's true. |
| 0:19.7 | These are relationship myths. |
| 0:22.5 | They're just not true. |
| 0:24.3 | And after years of working with clients that felt dissatisfied, frustrated, and even hopeless |
| 0:28.9 | in their relationship, I realized that their unhappiness was due to relationship myths that |
| 0:34.8 | they were believing in and measuring their relationship against. |
| 0:39.8 | This is why I created the top five relationship myths keeping you disconnected from your partner. |
| 0:46.4 | In this free guide, you will get not only the most common relationship myths, but also tips |
| 0:52.5 | on how to change your relationship today. |
| 0:56.1 | You can download the free guide at theadultchair.com-fordslash-miths. |
| 1:02.8 | That's theadultchair.com-fordslash-miths. |
| 1:06.0 | That's M-Y-T-H-S. |
| 1:13.2 | Hi, I'm Michelle Shelfand, psychotherapist, holistic life coach, and human, just like you, |
| 1:19.3 | learning to navigate life challenges. |
| 1:21.6 | For over 25 years experience, I teach people how to get healthy using theadultchair model. |
| 1:27.5 | Theadultchair model is where simple psychology meets grounded spirituality, and it teaches |
| 1:32.8 | us how to become healthy adults. |
| 1:36.0 | From anxiety and depression to codependency and relationship issues, you can use theadult |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Michelle Chalfant, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Michelle Chalfant and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.