314: Scientists Still Don’t Know What This Thing Is... and That’s Terrifying. on DIYS
Dam Internet, You Scary!
Patrick Cloud, Tahir Moore
4.9 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 8 August 2025
⏱️ 63 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Blue Chew
https://www.bluechew.com promo code DIYS
Factor
https://www.factormeals.com/diys50off
Would YOU trade a live alligator for a beer? One Florida man did—because of course he did. 🐊🍺
In this outrageous episode of Dam Internet, You Scary!, Tahir and Patrick cover:
Unhinged Florida Man headlines that will break your brain 😵
A mysterious glowing orb found deep in the ocean 🌊
The allegedly cursed town of Dudleytown, CT 👻
Pee breaks that last forever and public poop confessions 💩
The true drama behind Adidas vs. Puma 👟
What they’d be doing in witness protection (spoiler: power-washing pirate porn star?)
You came for the chaos—and we delivered.
👇 SOUND OFF IN THE COMMENTS:
What would YOUR fake name be in witness protection?
00:00 - Blueberries Ain’t Got No Flavor?! 🍓
01:15 - Why We’re Canceling the Ice Cream Truck Song 🚫
02:00 - Aging Hits Different: Big Fonts & Bigger Naps
03:30 - Public Poop Confessions & Long Pee Struggles 💀
09:15 - Why Drinking Water Makes You Pee Like Crazy
12:00 - Florida Man Mad Libs Begin! 🧂
14:30 - What?! Down His Pants at Walmart?!
16:30 - Robbery at Chinese Restaurant 😳
18:40 - Florida Man Blames WHAT? for Driving into Ditch
20:00 - Random Weapon Attack?!
22:00 - Guess in the comments?! (For Real)
24:30 - Bluetooth Ad - Wild Taglines & Bricked Up Lies
26:15 - Creepy Conspiracy: Curse of Dudleytown 👻
30:00 - A Glowing Orb Found Deep in the Ocean 🌊
33:45 - Antarctica’s Creepy New Sea Creatures 🧊
36:00 - All Pizza Chains Use the SAME Cheese?! 🧀
39:00 - Adidas vs Puma: A Family Betrayal Story 👟
44:00 - Witness Protection Game: Fake Jobs & Names
48:00 - Power Washers, Pirates, and Paula Darlene
56:00 - Legally a Menace to Society?! 🤯
59:00 - Wrapping Up: Upcoming Tours + Scary Squad Shoutout
—
✅ Subscribe to join the Scary Squad!
New episodes every week with more chaos, conspiracies, and comedy.
🎙️ Join the Patreon for exclusive access: https://www.patreon.com/DamInternetYouScary
#DIYS #FloridaMan #Conspiracy #PeeBreaks #CursedTowns #PatrickCloud #TahirMoore #PodcastComedy
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I was just giving them a little background of what we were doing, man. |
| 0:02.8 | That's all, man. |
| 0:03.8 | That's all, man. |
| 0:04.6 | We all here trying to... |
| 0:05.5 | The new wave is chocolate-covered blueberries, by the way. |
| 0:08.2 | What? |
| 0:08.7 | Fire. |
| 0:09.4 | I'm not a big fan of blueberries because they don't usually have flavor. |
| 0:13.3 | With the chocolate, though. |
| 0:14.6 | They don't be having no flavor. |
| 0:16.0 | It's like strawberries. |
| 0:16.8 | Strawberries don't be having flavor, for real. |
| 0:19.4 | They don't be having flavor for real they don't you always have to like if you really want a good |
| 0:22.6 | strawberry you got to add a little sugar |
| 0:24.3 | or a little honey to it but like strawberries |
| 0:26.5 | don't be coming out the gate bushing |
| 0:28.6 | like that well I feel like |
| 0:30.6 | I'm learning it's where you grow them |
| 0:32.4 | because like the when you be taking like road |
| 0:34.5 | trips and they have the little stands on the side |
| 0:36.5 | and they be giving them giant strawberries those are fire and i i realized that with tomatoes i don't like |
| 0:43.1 | i didn't like tomatoes till i left the country and then like really tasted tomatoes but tomatoes |
... |
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