314. 5 signs they're the 'one'

The Psychology of your 20s

iHeartPodcasts

Mental Health, Self-improvement, Fitness, Education, Relationships, Science, Social Sciences, How To, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.9 • 1.3K Ratings

🗓️ 18 July 2025

⏱️ 50 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

"What makes someone “the one”? There is so much pressure tied into that question. Instead, it might be better to ask: how can we focus on recognising the key pillars of long-lasting, fulfilling love? In today’s episode, we explore some fundamental characteristics so you can discern whether they are “the one” for you, while also acknowledging that our soulmates are often built, rather than found.

We explore:

Unpicking the “one” narrative
The difference between initial spark and lasting connection
Love as a mutual, ongoing choice
The fundamental pillars of long lasting relationships - shared values, emotional proximity, and reciprocal effort
The role of intuition vs anxiety
The need for authenticity and growth within a partnership

If you’re feeling the pressure to pick the ‘right’ person, or want to learn about the fundamentals of deep connection, this episode is for you.

Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
For business: [email protected]

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist. "

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk
0:11.2	through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology.
0:23.4	Hello everybody. Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. New listeners,
0:29.7	old listeners, whatever you are in the world. It is so great to have you here back for another
0:34.1	episode as we of course break down the psychology of our 20s. Today we are diving
0:41.6	into a question that I'm going to almost guarantee has probably come up for every single one of us
0:47.3	right now, whether you are in a long-term, stable, committed relationship, whether you have just
0:52.9	started dating someone new, you're single now,
0:55.1	you're somewhere in between. The question is, how do I know whether this person is the one?
1:03.2	How do I know I'm in the right relationship? How do I know and how will I know that someone is it for me? It's a very, I would say, anxiety-inducing question.
1:15.6	Who we choose to be in a relationship with is, you know, life-defying. And even if you don't
1:22.2	necessarily believe in the idea of the one or you're skeptical of the idea of a soulmate, there is still
1:30.2	some kind of irrational part of ourselves that really questions whether we're going to find
1:36.6	the perfect person for us, whether that person is out there and whether the person we're
1:42.3	with now is actually that person. How can I tell that this
1:46.7	is going to be forever? How do I know if it's going to work out? Unfortunately, you know, I can't really
1:52.1	answer that question for you, but it is a big one that comes up not just throughout our life,
1:57.2	but especially in our 20s can be very natural to have doubts during this decade.
2:01.4	You know, you are so young and there are so many people out there and you're constantly being
2:05.7	told that. And so if the person that you're with right now isn't the one, well, you do kind of want
2:11.4	to know now so you don't waste either of your time. You want to know that you, so that you can
2:17.2	kind of explore what else is out there. Maybe you can meet someone either of your time. You want to know that you, so that you can kind of explore
	...

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