313. Confidence is a skill, not a trait
The Psychology of your 20s
iHeartPodcasts
4.9 • 1.3K Ratings
🗓️ 15 July 2025
⏱️ 58 minutes
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Summary
You know when someone seems to breeze through life, can approach any social situation and challenge with such self-assured confidence? It seems innate - something they were born with. But what if that's not true? What if, instead of a fixed personal trait, confidence is actually a set of learnable abilities, a dynamic skill that anyone can cultivate, sharpen, and ultimately master? Today, we’re challenging the notion that confidence is a trait, and instead something you build.
Things we discuss:
- Why confidence is dynamic and adaptable
- Self-efficacy as a driver of confidence
- How "growth mindsets" can revolutionise your approach to challenges and setbacks
- Understanding the locus of control to fuel or hinder your forward momentum
- Actionable strategies to build your confidence from the ground up
If you’ve ever thought, “if only I was just born confident”, this episode is for you.
Listen to my NEW PODCAST, Mantra: https://open.spotify.com/show/4Ckds0BoJDDpODInN9cWcc?si=b6ad5d555c1940e0
Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg
Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast
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The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hello everybody and welcome back to the psychology of your 20s, the podcast where we talk |
| 0:11.2 | through some of the big life changes and transitions of our 20s and what they mean for our psychology. |
| 0:27.3 | Hello everybody, Welcome back to the show. Welcome back to the podcast. |
| 0:33.3 | New listeners. Old listeners, wherever you are in the world. It is so great to have you here back for another episode as we of course break down the psychology of our 20s. |
| 0:39.2 | Before we begin, I just want to let you know that this episode actually has two parts. |
| 0:46.5 | It has basically like, I guess, a sister episode over on my other podcast mantra. |
| 0:53.0 | So if you prefer a more kind of compact, succinct version of this |
| 0:58.4 | episode to start your day or to start your week, I'm going to leave a link in the description |
| 1:03.2 | of this episode for you guys to go and check it out. I would love if you just gave mantra a try. |
| 1:09.4 | I'm sure if you love this podcast, you will love that podcast |
| 1:11.7 | because it's basically the psychology of your 20s, but more spiritual, more philosophical, |
| 1:17.7 | more meditative. So yeah, go check it out. But as for our topic, today, we're going to talk |
| 1:25.3 | about confidence and what it is about confident people that is so |
| 1:29.6 | alluring, so fabulous, and how we can emulate it, how we can cultivate this brilliant, bright, |
| 1:37.8 | amazing attitude. Because confidence, my friends, it's actually not something that you are born with. It is a skill, |
| 1:48.4 | a skill that you can develop. One of my closest friends, Percy, actually inspired this episode, |
| 1:53.9 | friend of the show, we love Percy. She is what seemingly, well, she seemingly is a very |
| 1:59.3 | confident person. She just approaches every single |
| 2:02.4 | social situation, every work presentation, every first date with just such a grounded, |
| 2:08.7 | secure mindset. It's, honestly, it's sexy. Like, she is so magnetic to watch. And sometimes I've |
| 2:15.7 | even, like, found myself just being like, where did this come from? |
| 2:18.6 | Like who is this amazing woman? Because her confidence is like an aura. It's like a color that almost |
... |
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