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TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

#3133 Live, Laugh, Vape

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Leisure, Comedy

4.82.3K Ratings

🗓️ 3 April 2020

⏱️ 106 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luke gets shirty with a stranger during a jog, and Andrew's vape shop is considered an "essential service." Plus, we hear the next batch of audio drops in listener Jake's "Drops of Stupider" competition!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello, I'm Larry David. Obviously somebody put me up to this because it's

0:08.0

generally enough the kind of thing I do but I basically want to address the

0:14.0

idiots out there and you know who you are you going out I don't know what you're

0:17.9

doing you you're socializing too close it's it's not good you're hurting old

0:23.3

people like me well not me I have nothing to do with the all-never city but you

0:28.1

know other let's say other old people who might be your relatives who I don't

0:31.3

know but the problem is you're passing up a fantastic opportunity or once in a

0:38.3

lifetime opportunity to stay in the house sit on the couch and watch TV I mean

0:45.6

I don't know how you're passing that up well maybe because you're not you're not

0:51.2

that bright but here it is go home watch TV that's that's my advice to you you

1:00.5

know if you've seen my show nothing good ever happens going out of the house you

1:05.4

know that there's just trouble out there it's not a good place to be so stay

1:11.3

home and and you know don't see anyone except maybe if there's a plumbing

1:16.8

emergency let the plumber in and then you know wipe everything down after he

1:21.0

leaves but that but that's it okay

1:26.3

what day it is guess what day it is it's Friday Friday gotta get down on

1:40.5

Friday everybody's looking forward to the weekend listen I'm not one of those

1:45.8

college types that's gonna talk your ear off I've got a balloon and it doesn't

1:49.4

mean I think I'm better than everybody else can we speak honestly I don't

1:54.4

know I think I've ever tried that are we are we are we are we telling this to

1:59.9

the audience we should I know but well it's nothing to find out for themselves

2:03.6

see you later suckers I'm not taking myself on a hot air balloon ride

...

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