Greetings to you, sweet friends. It is I, D-Trustle, and you are listening to the Duncan

Trustle Family Hour Podcast. Now with premium sound. Some of you may not be aware of this,

but a few years ago I got into a pretty bad contract with a company called Zathor Labs.

You're probably familiar with their jingle, but if not, here it is to refresh your memory.

It was 1998. I was in Beijing. I was sitting across from a man in a velvet suit with a handlebar

mustache. He was smoking a cigarette that smelled like moths playing tennis with moth balls.

It was a very strange and interesting day, perhaps one of the most interesting days of my life.

I was sitting with Routar Gwinder, the CEO of Zathor Labs. I was in desperate need of money.

I was wearing rags. I was in rough shape to put it mildly. I had been on a mescal in Binder.

That and a few lime retas had gone to the wrong part of my belly and had led me down a very dark path.

It was almost incomprehensible to imagine that my entire life had been transformed by simply

opening an email. Two weeks prior I had received this email from a woman in Beijing.

Dear Duncan Trussell, you seem hot. I'm horny and full of fun. I love kinky stuff and want to party

will you come to Beijing with money so we can party. Let's fuck forever. Patricia Lunaliola.

It was less than four hours later that I was sipping Jin on a one-way flight to Beijing.

The Jin was doing nothing to abnegate the nervousness that flustered my brain.

I kept going through a checklist in my mind. Suitcase check cash check. I had everything that she

had requested. I kept thinking of this poem by Albert Camus. Zoo by Albert Camus.

Not see the colottite and chain of gold. That yanks him into cage.

There in that place, where Chen Chess Sully bear with shavers and cream,

Chimped nipples and nipple of man. Towers of loneliness.

This perfect poem by Albert Camus perfectly describes what every new lover feels as they

...