Hey everyone, Vancouver Radio, episode number 308. Now you might have clicked this

podcast, seen the title and thought, oh wonder what's going on here. So this podcast is going to be a tale of two halves and this

podcast is about me. It's about where I'm at physically and mentally, where I need to be at physically and mentally and what I suppose has led to this point in time.

Now, some of you would have known having listened from podcast 291 and 292 about the hardest

year of my life 2017 and how I you know nearly went bankrupt was hard, all that kind of stuff.

If you haven't listened to that, go back, have a peek.

And just to reiterate all the people that have sent me messages off the back of those

podcasts of support, thank you very much. It does mean a lot. So I sit here

right now, it is the Thursday before the Easter holiday and this will come out on the Monday,

so Easter Monday or whatever it's called and I sit here

genuinely looking forward to four days off work now it's so so so so rare that I look forward to time off because in short I love what I do I

absolutely love my job my staff my team what we've created what we're doing

what we want to do I love all of that but I I've come to resent it and that is the worst

feeling in the world I'm sitting here feeling a bit drained I'm procrastinating, it took me about three minutes to press record to do this show, which is unlike me, I usually just jump on the microphone and go.

I'm kind of getting a bit of like cloudy headaches. My

decision-making is usually really fast and at the moment it's really slow. I'm just

standing there like, ugh, when someone's asked me a question and I'm thinking through things my motivation to do things is low I want to lie in bed

You know I don't really want to conquer the things that I do know I want to conquer because I'm just in a weak place.

My want to exercise is fleeting. Some days it's there, some days it's not.

You know, I'm struggling to almost dream and

have a vision and where I'm pushing I feel that like every day I usually have a

great sense of power and I've lost that and I just generally feel

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