Do you think that most people would say that teenage beauty pageants are a good idea?

Oh yeah, sure. I know what some of your big city, no braweir and hairy-legged women libers might say.

They might say that a pageant is old-fashioned and demeaning to the girls.

What sick is women dressing like men?

Oh, yes.

You bitch, Iris.

No, I think you boys are going to find something a little bit different here in Montrose.

For one thing, we're all God, fear and folk.

Every last one of us.

And you will not find a back room in our video store.

No, no, that feels just better left to the citizens.

A.K.A. Minneapolis, thank God.

T.B.T.L.

And you must do that, gentlemen.

These two guys have really been a thorn in your sides.

You know what happens when you get a thorn in your side, Jean?

It draws blood.

You know, two big boys and they think this is all fun and games.

They think they can come in here and play around.

They're walking down a dark path from which there's no return.

Worst episode ever.

Rest assured that I was on the internet within minutes,

...