#3028 Sneeze Out Your Problems

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

TBTL

Leisure, Comedy

4.8 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 8 November 2019

⏱️ 81 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Luke got a behind-the-scenes glimpse of Alanis Morissette's new musical, and he's blown away. Then the listeners dazzle us with disgusting tales of finding rhinoliths in their children's bodies in this week's Email Frenzy!
. . . Today's show is sponsored by Calm. Visit Calm.com/tbtl to get 25% off a Calm Premium subscription.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	You are listening to the Ralph Sin store radio network. Thank you for tracking your dirty shoes all over our store and making it even dirtier. Are you a movie buff?
0:09.0	Well, we've got a blu-ray of Daddy's home, too, that we're selling for $35 for some reason.
0:14.0	Daddy's home, too. The only piece of physical media that all grocery stores have.
0:20.0	This is...
0:25.0	Uncle's Day is right around the corner, so come on out to Ralph's. You don't want to be the only one at the Uncle's Day party without Uncle's Day sauce.
0:31.0	Be sure to check out our dirty clearance bins by our terrifying bathrooms.
0:34.0	The only thing we sell back there is expired bloody Mary mix and some pregnancy tests that have the character bear a norm in on the box.
0:41.0	Please stop putting baby teeth in the coin star machine. There's an urban legend going around that you can trick the coin star machine into giving you money by putting baby teeth in it.
0:48.0	Because pennies are the same exact size as baby teeth. That is not true. We hired a security guard to protect the coin star machine and we've given him a gun.
0:56.0	If he thinks you put baby teeth in the coin star machine, he will not think for a second before shooting you.
1:01.0	Also, he refuses to wear glasses because he thinks they make him look weak.
1:12.0	Guess what day it is? Guess what day it is?
1:16.0	It's Friday. Friday. Gotta get down on Friday. Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.
1:23.0	WCOOBLASS! SCAT SCAT SCABLY WAPA!
1:27.0	There's nothing classier than boring jazz music. I am here to tell you.
1:32.0	There's nothing in your playlist but spooky party, the Beetlejuice Soundtrack and NPR podcast.
1:36.0	Oh, we could listen to one of those! I have Michele Norris interviewing Errol Morris. Don't worry, they address it.
1:47.0	Alright, hello, good morning and welcome everybody to a Friday edition of TBTL.
1:54.0	The show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.
2:01.0	Ooh, coming to you.
2:03.0	Once again, from the shores of Central Park. New York City!
2:09.0	In New York City. I don't know if that's how the geography on here works.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from TBTL, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of TBTL and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.