My name is Dr. Gail Timlin, President of Diet Supplement Industries and Corporated and

people say to me all the time, but Gail, you're not a real doctor and I say to them,

oh yeah, well I graduated with the PhD in Religious Studies at Kent State University.

Is that real enough for you? No? Well, how's this for real?

I lost hundreds of pounds by taking the best dietary product on the market.

Diet to lots of pan. But can something so good be legal, you ask? Hey, you ask a lot of

questions. Of course it's legal. And I should know, I'm not only a doctor and president

of Diet Supplemental Industries and Corporated, I'm also the Junior State Representative

of Rhode Island. T-B-T-L!

That's it, the radio. I'll go in the most popular program of the day.

I assume that still Don McNeil in his breakfast club. Like I ask people,

what's in your muffin? Uh? How about me? What did you ask me? Anybody? Anybody ask me?

What's in my muffin? I don't know what's in my muffin. If you two dirt bags ever mess with me again,

I'll take this to the next level. You don't do 22 episodes of celebrity outhouse with Lorraine

above it without learning a few things. Dude, you are the best. You're often dude, you are

God, get to the airways. What have you got to say for yourselves? It's hammer time. Let the freak out begin!

All right, hello, good morning and welcome everybody to a Thursday morning edition of T-B-T-L,

the show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

I think this guy's sense of humor never developed past junior high school.

Coming to you today from the, unfortunately, very rainy, wet,

environs of the otherwise beautiful Portland, Oregon. Here at the corner of 9th and Cooch Street,

Cooch being one of those very Portland-y streets that really should be pronounced couch,

...