Family caregivers provide an invaluable service to their loved ones as they age. They allow their loved ones to stay at home, or in the home of their adult children, where they are surrounded by comfort and familiarity. They also provide love, support, encouragement, and patience. This can make the final, difficult years of an older adult’s life feel rewarding and peaceful.

At the same time, caregiving can be difficult. We’ve talked about it before on this show – when a person is forced to balance work and family with caring for their aging parent, it can feel impossible to find that perfect balance. At the same time, needing to stay strong in front of your loved one can be quite challenging, especially considering how heartbreaking it can be to watch a parent age.

On last week’s quick tip episode, we talked about 5 things that caregivers should know before they start out. The focus in that episode was on taking care of you – learning your boundaries, delegating when you need to, practicing self-care. Remember, you can’t care for another person if you aren’t taking care of yourself. You can find that episode on our main show page.

Today, we’ll talk about tips for family caregivers – these are tips that will help you stay on top of your tasks, finances, and organization – so you can stay on top of everything, before you even need to. These are logistical tips that every family caregiver should know. Let’s get started.

Tip number one? Plan ahead for the unexpected. That might sound a little daunting – and scary. The last thing we want is to think about our parent debilitating – but when we don’t plan ahead, we might end up in over our heads after a difficult diagnosis or accident. Too often, a person’s needs change quickly, before we’re ready or prepared. A stroke in the middle of the night or a fall on a slippery sidewalk could make our parents’ needs change drastically and quickly.

With that in mind, make a plan for how you will handle work, family obligations, and more if your parents’ needs increase. Will you be able to provide full time care, or do you need to hire extra help? Talk with your parent about what they want. What does the future look like to them? Where would they like to be? Who would they like to care for them?

A plan should include where your parent will be staying, who will be caring for them, and who their network of support will be. A support network will include doctors, family, friends, and anyone else who might be able to lend a hand. You might think about hiring someone to help clean the house, for instance, so you can focus on other tasks.

If you decide that you will be the primary family caregiver, next plan ahead for what that will mean for your work. If you plan to keep your job, what will you do in the event that your parent needs full time care? Find a person to provide respite care when you aren’t available.

When our parent declines faster than expected, it’s incredibly difficult to grasp emotionally. When we have a plan in place, we can focus on caring for our own needs – as well as our loved ones – without having to figure out a care plan at the same time. It will make an already overwhelming experience significantly easier.

My second tip is to get papers organized. This is actually a critically important step in the planning stages. You never know when you’ll need access to medical or legal records, and you always want to be ready. 

This can be a tough one, I know. Paperwork could be disorganized or hard to locate, or you might need help understanding the files. But you will be so thankful to have everything organized in case of an emergency – when the last thing you want is to be digging through the house to find out what medications your mother might be allergic to.

Now, most doctors and medical care facilities will have your parents’ records. If your parent has more than one doctor, though, then they might not all be in one place. Contact all of your parents’ medical care providers – from their primary care physician to their specialized care providers and dentists. Have them send you copies of the records and organize them into one place. If you can, keep a digital copy and printed copies. Store them somewhere that’s easy to access in case of emergency.

The same goes for any legal documents. These may be harder to locate since there’s no one facility that keeps track of all that paperwork. Look through your parents’ own filings and records and make sure there is nothing missing. Then, contact your parents’ lawyer to double check that everything’s accounted for.

In addition to legal and medical paperwork, you’ll want to make sure you have access to the basic personal information. Where does your parent keep their ID? Their social security card? Medical insurance card? Does your parent have a passport? Make sure all of this information is accounted for. Even though you might know your parents’ social security number off the top of your head – there could be an emergency when you’re not at home, and the backup caregiver needs access to this information. In addition, under situations of extreme stress, an important number might just slip your mind.

Tip number three is planning ahead financially. According to AARP, “family caregivers spend an average of nearly $7000 a year of their own money” on their loved one’s care. Make sure you have savings in place that you are willing to spend on your loved one if you need to. Sort out your loved one’s finances with their help, too. What kind of savings do they have? Are they able to pay for proper care if they need to? What type of insurance do they have? If your parent is still in relatively good health, this might be a good time to look into purchasing long term care insurance.

If you worry that you won’t be able to afford caring for your parent, think about ways you might be able to cut costs. Are there volunteer services available in your area, that help the elderly? Are there other family members who might be able to help you? Does your parent’s insurance cover nursing home care?

Making a financial plan can be distressing – but, again, you will be so glad to know in advance what exactly to expect. Many families assume that their parents have more in the bank than they actually do – and are left to cover the costs at the last minute when this isn’t the case. The more you know ahead of time, the better off you and your loved one will be.

If you’ve taken on the role of a family caregiver, or if it’s something you’re considering, let us be the first to say “thank you” for what you’re doing. It’s not an easy role to step into – but your dedication, love, and devotion to your parent will mean so much and make a remarkable difference in their life.

Make sure you have a plan in place for what caregiving will look like for you, for the organization of important papers, and for the financial aspect of caregiving. That will you give you a huge start. To learn more about what to expect from caregiving, listen to our episode on the sacrifices of caregiving and caring for the caregiver. There’s a lot to learn on this journey – but you’ll be so glad you did.

We want to thank you for joining us here at All Home Care Matters, All Home Care Matters is here for you and to help families as they navigate long-term care issues. Please visit us at allhomecarematters.com there is a private secure fillable form there where you can give us feedback, show ideas, or if you have questions. Every form is read and responded to. If you know someone is who could benefit from this episode, please share it with them.

Remember, you can listen to the show on any of your favorite podcast streaming platforms and watch the show on our YouTube channel and make sure to hit that subscribe button, so you'll never miss an episode. Please join us next time as we talk about a very important aspect of caregiving for both the caregiver and the person they will be caring for and that discussion will be about Connecting with the Caregiver.

 

Sources:

https://www.health.com/mind-body/13-things-you-should-know-before-becoming-a-caregiver?slide=c0555515-a483-4502-994f-3de4cef1d6b2#c0555515-a483-4502-994f-3de4cef1d6b2

 

https://www.synergyhomecare.com/blog/posts/2011/8/18/the-3-things-every-family-caregiver-should-know/

 

https://caregiveraction.org/resources/10-tips-family-caregivers

 

https://www.grandoaksdc.org/10-tips-for-caregivers/

 

https://www.caregiversolutions.ca/caregiving/8-tips-new-family-caregivers/