This podcast contains references to violence and suicide,

as well as language which may not be suitable for children.

Listener discretion advised.

He taught me how to...

If I ever had to stab somebody,

it's like Hollywood is so stupid that I always show people with these big knives.

He's like, you use a short blade knife.

You can make several small cuts really fast.

And then you twist the knife when you when you stab,

when you twist it to open up the wound.

And if you can try to break the blade off in to that person.

Listener discretion advised.

It's the third day of my trip and I'm back at the Texas Equal Search Office.

The rundown looking headquarters of a world-class

search and rescue organization.

One that's tucked between a dive bar and a dollar general.

The sun's just set.

There's catered brisket and sweet tea on someone's desk.

And I'm surrounded by a group of people who have never met each other before.

The fives a little awkward, people are pushing their food around their plastic plates

and making stilted small talk.

But the air feels heavy.

...