I wanted to talk about three mistakes we make in early stage dating that really hurt our

chances of things going anywhere.

When we like someone, we all want to get them hooked, don't we?

We all want to make sure that it actually has the best possible chance of going somewhere.

Well, there are three things we do

that jeopardize that that I wanted to highlight in this video. And I want to start by just making a

distinction, a distinction between love and desire, connection and attraction. Love isn't the same as

desire. What gets someone to have feelings of love for us is not the same as what makes someone want to take us home, what makes someone turned on by us. And if we want to keep someone's attention in dating, desire is absolutely essential. The three things that I'm going to talk about today, the mistakes

we make, are not necessarily things that will hurt love, but they will have the potential to

hurt desire. And if we hurt desire, we run the risk of losing someone's energy. And when we feel like, oh, it fizzled out with someone, oh, why did they lose steam? It's not because of a lack of love. It's because of a lack of desire. And by the way, what gets people to the point of love? Enough desire in the early stages to carry them through to a place of real deep connection and investment.

Mistake number one, showing that we are surprised someone is into us. If we say or do things that communicate to someone, I just don't know why someone

like you would like someone like me. I'm surprised that you're into me. I'm surprised that you like me as

much as you say you do. I am surprised you approached me. What we're saying to someone is someone with your value shouldn't be

into someone with my value. And the danger of that is that we're going to make someone feel like

they got the raw end of the deal. We all want to feel in life like we're getting the best

deal possible. So no one wants to go into a

dating scenario feeling like they're the one being shortchanged. But when we say to someone,

I'm surprised that you're into me, it's another way of saying to someone, you're the one getting

shortchanged in this situation because I'm of lower value and you're of higher value.

If we do that, we run the risk of killing desire before we've even started.

Mistake number two, telling someone you're afraid that they're going to hurt you.

If we continuously show, I'm afraid that you're going to change your mind about me. I'm

...