3 Low-Value Behaviors That Quietly Kill Your Respect | Social Intelligence Brief

The Art of Charm

http://www.TheArtOfCharm.com

Business, Health & Fitness, Education

4.7 • 11K Ratings

🗓️ 11 September 2025

⏱️ 11 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Ever wonder why people don’t take you seriously—even when you’re smart and hardworking? In this episode, AJ and Johnny reveal the three most common low value signals that quietly repel respect: being supplicative (begging for approval), combative (using force or intimidation), and competitive (constantly one-upping). Backed by research from UCLA, Harvard, and game theory, they explain how these blind spots sabotage influence and connection—and how to flip them into high value behaviors that attract trust, respect, and opportunity. You’ll learn why excessive apologizing, fake “alpha” dominance, and relentless bragging send the wrong message, and how small shifts—like standing tall, reframing with “we” language, and spotlighting others—instantly change how people respond to you. If you’ve ever felt overlooked, underestimated, or like your hard work isn’t respected, this episode shows you how to break free from low value patterns and project real confidence. What to Listen For [00:00:00] Why people don’t take you seriously: the hidden impact of low value signals [00:01:02] Supplicative behaviors—apologizing, shrinking, and begging for approval [00:02:36] The “nice guy” conundrum: why being accommodating makes you forgettable [00:03:25] Combative behaviors—dominance, intimidation, and fake alpha posturing [00:03:48] Why real strength is presence, not shouting [00:04:14] Competitive behaviors—one-upping, bragging, and name-dropping [00:05:31] Why constant competition makes you high-maintenance [00:06:03] High achievers’ blind spot: mistaking resumes for personality [00:06:24] Client story: Jim’s sales calls flipped once he stopped proving himself [00:07:21] The three low value signals summed up—and the high value alternative [00:07:46] Weekly challenge: audit your signals and flip them into high value behaviors [00:08:11] Take the free Influence Index quiz to discover your influence score A Word From Our Sponsors Stop being over looked and unlock your X-Factor today at ⁠⁠unlockyourxfactor.com⁠⁠ The very qualities that make you exceptional in your field are working against you socially. Visit the ⁠⁠artofcharm.com/intel ⁠⁠for a social intelligence assessment and discover exactly what's holding you back. Indulge in affordable luxury with Quince. Upgrade your wardrobe today at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠quince.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ for free shipping and hassle-free returns. Grow your way - with Headway! Get started at ⁠⁠makeheadway.com/CHARM ⁠⁠and use my code CHARM for 25% off. Ready to turn your business idea into reality? Sign up for your $1/month trial at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠shopify.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Need to hire top talent—fast? Claim your $75 Sponsored Job Credit now at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Indeed.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. This year, skip breaking a sweat AND breaking the bank. Get your summer savings and shop premium wireless plans at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠mintmobile.com/charm⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Save more than fifty percent on term life insurance at ⁠⁠SELECTQUOTE.COM/CHARM⁠⁠ TODAY to get started Curious about your influence level? Get your Influence Index Score today! Take this 60-second quiz to find out how your influence stacks up against top performers at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠theartofcharm.com/influence⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Check in with AJ and Johnny! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AJ on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Johnny on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on YouTube⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠The Art of Charm on TikTok⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You know, some people think OCD is just about keeping your house super clean?
0:04.0	That stereotype drives me crazy.
0:06.1	Real OCD creates these unwanted intrusive thoughts about stuff you actually care about,
0:11.3	like your social life.
0:12.4	Exactly.
0:13.4	It makes you doubt whether people actually like you or you're terrified.
0:16.4	You accidentally offended someone.
0:18.2	You spend hours replaying conversations looking for proof you're not a
0:22.1	terrible person. And those thoughts get so overwhelming. You start doing all these behaviors to make
0:26.8	them stop, like mentally reviewing every interaction or trying to cancel negative thoughts with
0:31.4	positive ones before you see friends. But here's the thing. The doubts and fears just come back
0:36.7	even stronger. It isolates you from the
0:38.9	connections that make life worth living. That's where NOCD comes in. They're the world's leading
0:43.9	provider of OCD treatment and all of their therapists specialize in ERP therapy. That's exposure
0:49.7	and response prevention. Not regular talk therapy, which actually makes OCD worse. NOCD does live
0:56.8	face-to-face virtual sessions, where they teach you proven techniques to manage intrusive thoughts
1:01.7	and reclaim your confidence. It's 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans,
1:08.3	and you get support between sessions so you're not facing this alone.
1:12.9	If you think OCD might be holding you back, go to NOCD.com and book a free 15-minute call.
1:19.8	That's N-O-C-D.com.
1:23.1	Ever wonder why people don't take you seriously even when you're smart and hardworking?
1:28.0	Chances are you're leaking low value signals without even realizing it.
	...

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