3: Don't Let Your Vision Of A Healthy Relationship Be Compromised

Love Life with Matthew Hussey

Matthew Hussey

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.8 • 2.9K Ratings

🗓️ 24 February 2020

⏱️ 10 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

When you fall in love, it's way too easy to start trying to fit someone into your world, even if their behaviour compromises your deepest values. You start to go off track, for weeks, months, years, until you're left asking, "How did I get here?"

If you've ignored the red flags for too long. Stop. Pause. Make a decision that NOW is the time to get back on track and listen to this message...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Well, hello, hello, it's Stephen Hussey here on Monday morning and I have a question.
0:07.3	Have you ever got to a point with someone you're dating where you made a decision?
0:13.3	You decided I really, really like this person.
0:19.2	And then your brain went, oh shit.
0:23.7	Well, let's talk about it.
0:28.1	You know, one of the reasons I think we get hurt more than we need to is because the way
0:44.0	we come to like people tends to be somewhat binary.
0:50.5	We go, I'm not interested, I'm not interested, I'm not interested and then at the point where
0:55.9	some flash of lightning happens in our mind.
0:59.5	Maybe it's because we think they look particularly beautiful or handsome.
1:03.1	Maybe it's because of something they've done or something that has been revealed to us
1:07.0	about this person.
1:08.4	We all of a sudden decide, now I like this person.
1:12.8	And so we go from that zero to a one like that and now we stick on the one.
1:20.7	The danger of this is that it creates a kind of static image of a person.
1:26.6	So we now in our minds say, this person's right for me.
1:31.0	I really like this person.
1:32.5	I want to be with this person.
1:35.2	And we're no longer qualifying that based on what's actually happening.
1:39.9	We've decided in our mind.
1:42.0	So now what we're trying to do is make reality fit to the vision that we have in our mind.
1:48.3	I'm interested in looking at all of the little moments, the scenarios that happen between
	...

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