297: Why is the SILENT TREATMENT so Hurtful?
The Empowered Wife Podcast: Marriage Help with Laura Doyle
Laura Doyle
4.7 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 29 July 2025
⏱️ 62 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Tired of painful silent treatment and cold wars in your marriage? Kristin's house was filled with tense silence, piled-up problems, and thick resentment. Then during a tense conversation, she said just six words that shocked her husband—who then shocked her by giving her a hug. Now the cold wars have ended and they dance together in the kitchen. Discover the exact words that broke through years of silent treatment and transformed their marriage from resentful to joyful.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | The silent treatment was a regular occurrence at Kristen's house where problems piled up and the resentment was thick. |
| 0:08.1 | Then during a tense conversation, Kristen said just six words that shocked her husband, who then shocked her by giving her a hug. |
| 0:17.7 | Now the Cold Wars have ended and they dance together in the kitchen. |
| 0:21.8 | She's going to tell us how she did it so you can do it too. |
| 0:25.5 | Kristen, welcome to the Empowered Wife podcast. |
| 0:28.8 | I'm so excited that you're here. |
| 0:31.3 | Thank you so much. |
| 0:32.3 | I'm excited to be here today. |
| 0:35.5 | Well, I always like to hear about what was going on in the bad old days. |
| 0:41.0 | So what could you tell us? |
| 0:42.5 | Well, I'll just kind of start at the beginning. |
| 0:47.0 | Yeah, we were, we met each other in high school, so we were high school sweethearts and we |
| 0:52.8 | had a lot of fun together. He was on the basketball team. I went to all his games and it was like the loudest person in the crowd cheering for him. And yeah, we just had a lot of fun. And so year after I graduated, the estimate of Barry him, I was 19 when we got married. And I just thought, yeah, we had so much fun dating. |
| 1:13.4 | It's just going to be even better once we get married. And it wasn't quite that way. |
| 1:19.9 | We soon found out that we had like zero communication skills. And yeah, we just, like I had written in my little bio for you, we both grew up in houses where one parent might explode in anger and everyone else would just kind of pretend nothing happened. Everyone would avoid each other for a while. You just kind of be quiet and pretend nothing happened and just, I don't know, after a couple of days, just kind of go on your way and hope it was over. |
| 1:48.5 | And so we skipped the exploding and anger part. |
| 1:51.0 | So we just kind of did the quiet, avoid the problem part. |
| 1:55.5 | And yeah, the resentments just piled up higher and higher kind of under the rug. |
| 2:01.1 | We were sweeping them under, and we just repeated that over and over |
| 2:05.0 | because we didn't have any other tools. |
| 2:08.6 | So it just, it was just a repeated pattern. |
| 2:14.8 | So it sounds like the pile under the rug was like bigger than you were after a while like that. |
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