290: How to Manage Abrasive Leaders, with Sharone Bar-David
Coaching for Leaders
Dave Stachowiak
4.8 • 1.6K Ratings
🗓️ 27 March 2017
⏱️ 43 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Sharone Bar-David: Abrasive Leaders
Sharone Bar-David is the author of Trust Your Canary: Every Leader’s Guide to Taming Workplace Incivility* and president at Bar-David Consulting, a company offering solutions for creating a respectful workplace and rehabilitating abrasive leaders.
Key Points
- Abrasive leaders often don’t realize how they’re acting, or if they do, they don’t realize the negative affects.
- One of the greatest myths is that you can’t do without someone — everyone is replaceable.
- The three steps of SBD:
- State the Expectation – What values or behavior you expect?
- Behavior – What are the behaviors that are of concern?
- Desired Behavior – How do you want the person to act?
- 360 reviews are good for diagnosing a problem with an abrasive leader, but not for solving it.
Resources Mentioned
- Abrasive Leader Risk Assessment
- Trust Your Canary* by Sharone Bar-David
- Abrasive Leaders: Five Mistakes You’ve Made When Managing Them
- Is Your Email Writing Style Putting You at Risk?
Related Episodes
- How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk, with Tom Henschel (episode 164)
- How to Tame Workplace Incivility, with Sharone Bar-David (episode 210)
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | We've talked on this show about how to navigate around difficult bosses and even working for narcissists and jerks. |
| 0:07.0 | But what do you do when the person who's the abrasive leader is the person you're managing? |
| 0:12.0 | On this episode, what to do when you're the one who needs to deal with the bad behavior. |
| 0:17.0 | This is Coaching for Leaders, episode 290. |
| 0:20.0 | Produced by Innovate Learning, Maximizing Human Potential. |
| 0:27.0 | Greetings to you from Orange County, California. |
| 0:33.5 | This is coaching for leaders, and I'm your host, Dave Stahoviac. |
| 0:38.0 | Leaders aren't born, they're made, and this weekly show gives you access to the practical wisdom that will |
| 0:44.7 | empower you to become a better leader. I'm so glad you're here today with me |
| 0:50.6 | again because today a conversation we have not had on the show previously. |
| 0:55.6 | We have talked about how do you work for difficult managers. |
| 0:59.6 | My friend Tom Henschel and I even recorded an episode while back called How to Handle Your Boss |
| 1:05.0 | If They're a Jerk or something close to that title. |
| 1:08.0 | I'll put a link in the show notes for all of us. |
| 1:10.0 | But we have not talked about how do you manage abrasive leaders if you're in the situation where you are managing someone who is themselves |
| 1:20.1 | more abrasive how do you navigate that It is something that a lot of us have had to deal with in our careers. I know I have and |
| 1:27.7 | yet it's not something I've really thought a lot about as far as what is the right way to do that until I was in the |
| 1:33.8 | midst of handling it and today I'm hopeful that our conversation will be really |
| 1:38.5 | helpful to you if you are potentially in the midst of handling that or maybe you're in a situation where you |
| 1:44.2 | get a sense that that could be an issue in the immediate future and I'm really |
| 1:49.5 | glad to be welcoming back to the show someone who has been a wonderful thinker in this space, and that |
| 1:56.5 | is Sharon Barr DeVit. |
... |
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