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Stiff Socks

29: Jerking It in the First Lady's Bathroom

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.87.3K Ratings

🗓️ 31 July 2019

⏱️ 55 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

The boys get crazy on this one. They talk about dick tents, peeing in a Sbarro's fruit punch in the food court, and how truly weird Abercrombie is. They also discuss the ins and outs of jerking off in Barbara Bush's bathroom.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

When you join Tinder, you might not have been looking for answers, but there were some good

0:05.0

clues, like in the way they smiled with their eyes. Like how they didn't reach free

0:09.6

hand before you'd reach for theirs. And when the time was right, they popped the question,

0:15.1

Will you keep a toothbrush at my place?

0:18.0

From toothbrush proposals to non awkward silences, there's a world of possible connections on Tinder.

0:24.2

Whatever you're looking for, it starts with a swipe, explore the possibilities on Tinder.

0:29.0

Download today.

0:32.7

This is Trevor Wallace here. We're sitting next to my co-host Michael Blowestine who also

0:38.4

comes on floors. That was last episode. That was last episode.

0:42.4

But you knew after episode. But here's the thing, if you haven't said last episode, listen to

0:46.2

the last episode because everything in this episode is going to make a lot more sense because

0:49.7

right after you said that, you admitted to coming on floors as Ted Bundy would do in his autobiography.

0:56.4

I realized I was like, wait a second. Our podcast is literally called Stiff Socks.

1:01.8

Insinuating semen in the socks. Yeah.

1:06.9

But is your sock the floor? You didn't like, yes, been living a lie?

1:12.0

You didn't ask me. My floors are made of socks.

1:14.7

I've been your house. They're not Michael.

1:16.5

They're not. They're a hardware floor. They're actually very nice and lived in the floor.

1:18.9

What was it like? How do you have a podcast name? Stiff Socks. But you thought it was

1:23.8

weird to come on a paper towel. It's weird to come on a paper towel. I feel like that's still

1:32.7

your serial killer. You're more Ted Bundy coming on a paper towel. Like a bounty paper towel.

1:38.1

You have to lie it down. Yes. The pre-medic, that's the weird part to me. The pre-medic.

...

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