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Coaching for Leaders

284: The Way to Stop Rescuing People From Their Problems, with Michael Bungay Stanier

Coaching for Leaders

Dave Stachowiak

Business, Management, Careers

4.8 • 1.6K Ratings

🗓️ 13 February 2017

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Michael Bungay Stanier: The Coaching Habit

Michael Bungay Stanier is the author of eight books, including The Coaching Habit, which has sold more than a million copies and is the best-selling book on coaching this century. In 2011 he created and edited End Malaria, a book written in partnership with Seth Godin that raised more than $400k for Malaria No More.

Michael is the founder Box of Crayons, a learning and development company that’s trained thousands of people around the world to be more coach-like. He has been featured in many publications including Harvard Business Review, Forbes, and Fast Company. His TEDx Talk on Taming Your Advice Monster has been viewed more than a million times.

Key Points

  • When things get difficult, there are three roles people may fall into: the victim, the persecutor, and/or the rescuer.
  • To step out of a victim role, figure out what’s really going on, take a deep breath, and think, “And what else?”
  • To avoid the persecutor role, assume positive intent and that people are trying their best.
  • To stop rescuing as much, ask the victim, “How can I help?” or “What do you want from me?”
  • Ask yourself what you want in the situation, and make sure you’ve communicated it to others. Then ask the others what they want.

Resources Mentioned

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

That person walks into your office again and for about the fifth time has an issue they're putting on your desk that really they should be solving for themselves.

0:11.0

But they're back, partially because you are always so willing to help, aren't you?

0:17.0

On today's episode, the way to stop rescuing people from their problems.

0:21.7

This is Coaching for Leaders episode 284.

0:25.0

Produced by Innovate Learning, Maximizing Human Potential. Chon. Greetings to you from Orange County, California.

0:38.0

This is coaching for leaders and I'm your host Dave Stahoviac. Leaders aren't born, they're made,

0:45.0

and this weekly show gives you access to the practical wisdom

0:48.0

that will empower you to become a better leader.

0:52.0

I'm so glad you tuned in for this episode because I've been

0:54.6

looking forward to this conversation for actually several months now since I

0:59.6

booked it and it is with someone who's a returning guest to the show. And I say that because this is someone who's got a great expertise in coaching and helping us all to become more effective in the coaching work that we're doing, which we're all doing in leadership and in management,

1:15.2

and if we're not, there's an opportunity to certainly do more of it.

1:18.5

But one of the things a lot of us tend to do is we like to help people a lot and we even sometimes like to

1:25.5

rescue people from their problems and I think in today's conversation you're

1:29.7

gonna find that there's some really helpful things that we can do as far as how we approach

1:34.0

conversations with people in order to be more effective and I'm really glad to

1:38.3

welcome back to the show Michael Bungay Stanier. He is the best-selling author of

1:42.2

the books Do Great Work and the coaching

1:45.2

habits say less ask more and change the way you lead forever. Michael and his team of

1:50.8

facilitators help time-crunched managers coach in 10 minutes or less.

1:55.8

His clients come from all sectors and include Box, the United Nations, Gartner, the University

2:01.4

Health Network and USAA.

...

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