28: Second Maccabees Second Furious (The Second Book of Maccabees)

Apocrypals

Chris Sims

Comedy, History

4.9 • 650 Ratings

🗓️ 10 December 2018

⏱️ 91 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

So long Hanukkah and Hello Advent, Theophiloi! It's your humble Sons of Thunder on 2018's best podcast for news about Ahikar and St. Thecla's conflict with man-eating seals, and before we close out the Festival of Lights, we're going all in with 2 Maccabees. Things get buck wild as we hear about Judah Maccabee's exploits once again, now with roughly 1,000% more ghost warriors and magic swords. Seriously, this is the most action-packed part of Bible we have ever experienced, and you'll recall that we saw Judas exploding back in episode 1, so the bar has been set pretty high. We do, however, need to put a strong Content Warning on this one for some graphic descriptions of torture and martyrdom.

Topics of discussion: The Murder That I Like The Most vs. The Apocryphamici, the Catalonian Poop Log, our local Holiday Parades, the Bangles, Jason of Cyrene, the Drizzt Do'Urden of Jewish history, "The Greek Hat," illegal tactics in the wrestling arena, dubious omens, wishing a happy monthday to Antiochus III, Ex Nihilo creation, our complicated relationship with military heroes, BFFLW, the wildest death scene in the entire Bible.

Hymnal: "Not By Might, Not By Power" by Debbie Friedman

Offertory: If you enjoy the show, head to ko-fi.com/apocrypals and send us a love offering! We absolutely appreciate it!

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	As soon as Maccabas got his army organized, the Gentiles could not withstand him, for the wrath of the Lord had turned to mercy.
0:07.2	Coming without warning, he would set fire to towns and villages.
0:10.4	He captured strategic positions and put to flight not a few of the enemy.
0:14.0	He found the knights most advantageous for such attacks, and talk of his valor spread everywhere.
0:19.5	The second book of Maccabees, chapter 8, verses 5 through 7.
0:36.6	But by mind and not by spirit alone shall all men live in peace
0:44.3	not by mind and not by power but by spirit alone shall all and live in peace.
1:00.2	Hello, friends and neighbors, and welcome to Apocrypal's.
1:03.9	It's the podcast where two nonbelievers read through the Bible and we're trying to be jerks about it.
1:05.7	Happy Hanukkah, everybody.
1:07.8	Haksanaach, y'all.
1:09.0	I am Chris Sims.
1:12.8	That was the voice of the other half of the Sons of Thunder. Ben serino benito how are you i'm good man how um how am i sounding you're sounding velvety just like super crisp and smooth
1:22.2	right now just like i want to i want to wrap up in it and wait for that blizzard to hit tonight.
1:28.8	Nice.
1:29.3	Well, that's good.
1:30.3	I'm using some different equipment this week.
1:33.0	So I was what it was, you know, I was seeing all these, all these year-end lists of best podcasts coming in.
1:41.4	And it's weird because, like, I thought my Google alerts would just be
1:45.3	blowing up. And yet, um, I went and I looked and we're not on them. Did you know, Chris,
1:53.4	like I learned a lot of things looking at these year-end best podcast lists. Like, I found out
2:00.0	about a show that you've probably never heard of.
	...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Previous episode | Next episode

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Chris Sims, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of Chris Sims and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.