In 1724, a British author by the name or at least pseudonym of Captain Charles Johnson

wrote a general history of the robberies and murders of the most notorious pirates.

The first definitive, written account of the pirates of the Caribbean.

The real ones, not Johnny Depp, not Ian McChain, no this is the book that introduced Blackbeard

to the world and became the primary source for future biographies of the notorious 18th

century sea marauder.

Johnson's description of Blackbeard is epic.

The British author, who was also a former captain and a former director of the Caribbean

Teach, assumed the nickname of Blackbeard for the large quantity of hair which, like a

fright for media, covered his whole face and frightened America more than any comet that

has appeared there in a long time.

This beard was black which he suffered to grow to an extravagant length.

As to breadth, it came up to his eyes.

He was accustomed to twist it with ribbons, and small tails, and turned them about his

ears.

And stuck lighted matches under his hat, which appearing on each side of his face, his

eyes naturally looking fierce and wild, made him altogether such a figure that imagination

cannot form an idea of a fury from hell to look more frightful.

Who the fuck was this fruit loop?

Lit matches under his hat?

Ribbons in his crazy hobo hipster ZZ Topier?

Three different pistols hanging off his chest.

...