279. Building REAL Confidence with Kara Loewentheil

Financial Feminist

Her First $100K

Education, Self-improvement, Business, How To

4.7 • 6.6K Ratings

🗓️ 31 March 2026

⏱️ 58 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you've ever power posed in a bathroom mirror or blasted a Beyoncé song before a big negotiation hoping it would make you believe in yourself, this episode is going to completely change the way you think about confidence. I'm sitting down with return guest Kara Loewentheil, founder of The School of New Feminist Thought, host of the internationally top-ranked podcast Unfuck Your Brain, and author of the instant New York Times bestseller Take Back Your Brain, and we're getting into the real, evidence-backed truth about what confidence actually is — and why everything you've been told about building it is probably doing you more harm than good. Kara breaks down her Confidence Compass framework — self-knowledge, self-compassion, self-belief, and self-actualization — and why real confidence has nothing to do with a feeling or a pose, and everything to do with building a trusting relationship with yourself so you can take risks, go after your financial goals, and create the life you actually want. Kara’s links: Website: http://unfuckyourbrain.com/HSC Unf*ck Your Brain podcast: https://schoolofnewfeministthought.com/podcasts/ Take Back Your Brain book: https://www.takebackyourbrainbook.com/ Visit ⁠https://herfirst100k.com/ffpod⁠ to read the transcript and find any resources mentioned in this episode! 0:00 Intro 0:59 Confidence Is a Skillset, Not a Feeling 2:08 Why Power Poses and Beyoncé Songs Don't Work 4:19 Does "Fake It Till You Make It" Actually Work? 5:19 Kara's Background: Yale, Harvard Law, and Becoming a Coach 5:34 Betting on Yourself Without Feeling Confident 7:55 Confidence vs. Certainty and Control 9:30 Confidence as a Relationship with Yourself 12:02 The Confidence Compass Framework 14:40 Money, Shame, and Which Block Shows Up Most 16:47 How Shame Disguises Itself as Responsibility 19:37 The Permission Slip Problem 27:31 How to Uncouple Shame and Build New Beliefs 38:28 Unlearning Selflessness Without Feeling Selfish 43:04 Confidence Doesn't Come from Having Things — It Creates Them 45:37 Using the Confidence Compass for Money Goals 48:52 The Seeds of Who You Want to Be Are Already in You Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	This episode has the exact formula you need to build confidence this year.
0:04.3	Carl Lowenthal is the founder of the School of New Feminist Thought, the host of the
0:08.2	internationally top-ranked podcast Unfuck Your Brain, Feminist Self-Helf for Everyone,
0:12.6	and the author of The Instant New York Times Bestseller, Take Back Your Brain, How a Sexist
0:17.3	Society Gets in Your Head and How to Get It Out.
0:19.6	She is a return guest on this show,
0:21.2	and we are so excited to talk through her exact formula for building confidence called the
0:26.0	Confidence Compass, but also how all of those things that you've been told build confidence,
0:31.5	like power poses in the bathroom and Beyonce songs before you negotiate, are actually doing you more harm than good. She also has
0:40.0	all of the science around the psychology of the thoughts that are going on in your brain that are
0:45.3	actively sabotaging you from building the kind of life you want and achieving your goals.
0:50.4	And if you're new to the show, my name is Tori. I've helped over 5 million women be better with
0:54.0	money and you're listening to the number one money name is Tori. I've helped over 5 million women be better with money,
0:54.4	and you're listening to the number one money podcast for women in the world. Let's get into it.
1:02.1	But first, a word from our sponsors. This newly independent podcast is brought to you by Squarespace.
1:07.6	Squarespace was the first investment we ever made in her first 100k, and it is the
1:11.3	thing that I probably recommend most to business owners when they ask me what tools I should use.
1:17.2	You need Squarespace because you need a beautiful website that works. You also need SEO tools so that you
1:21.7	can get discovered and your business can get out there. And you can post anything on Squarespace
1:26.7	from courses to coaching,
1:30.0	anything that you need to sell, you can do on Squarespace. Head on over to Squarespace.com
1:34.6	slash FFPod for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch your brand new website,
	...

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