Okay, folks, you are listening to the latest edition, the latest chapter, the latest exciting

adventures from life on planet Porky with myself, the Porkmeister, and of course, the Rockchick

Writer Extraordinaire, Ms. Leslie and Jones.

Miss Jones, I'm not even going to talk about the political situation because I'm fed up to the back teeth, okay? And who isn't? I know.

Who knows? By the time our millions of listeners get to reading this, only get to listening this,

I should, listening to this, I should say, which will, you know, just be a matter of

a couple of hours after we've recorded it. We might have yet another new prime minister. So we'll

stay off that one. But I do want to celebrate with you the fantastic autumn weather. I was woken up

last night, about 3.30 in the morning. I usually get up between about 430 and 5.30, but the rain was battering down on my

V-Lux windows. The road was awash with water running down the hill where I live. The leaves were

being blown off the trees and the trees were bending to the force of the gale. And it's what I

call real autumn weather.

And I got up as early as I could, even before light,

and I went out in a pair of wellies to slosh around in the wet leaves,

and it was wonderful.

You went out in just a pair of wellies?

No, not just a pair of wellies.

That is a thought for sore minds, if that's the expression. Well, Mike Perry trotting down the

high street in just a pair of ways. Don't put people off their breakfast, Miss Jones. The issue is that

it's great to wear the wellies because then you can sosh around in the wet leaves. And then I headed on to

the north downs, you see, where they hold a lot of water in the soil and the ground there.

But it was lovely autumn weather.

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