Today's episode is going to be about the topic of rescuing or being a rescuer. And the reason why this topic came about was because I posted an Instagram reel yesterday about rescuing and specifically why to not rescue your children from problems.

I actually recorded it, I don't know like a month ago, maybe a little bit longer when we went up to

LA and I just batch recorded a bunch of Cota Free reels that taught different

principles of becoming Cota Free and which is the opposite of codependency or freedom from codependency.

And so this principle, there's a lot behind it and why it matters in parenting and then also

in recovery.

So I wanted to start off just with like a basic understanding

of what rescuing is.

And so rescuing in this sense means

taking someone out of a situation that's uncomfortable. So trying to save them from the discomfort of, you know, especially when it's natural consequences of a choice that they made.

Or sometimes not even, I mean, we can get into this in a minute but even like just trying to

rescue someone from their feelings of disappointment or discouragement or despair you

know loss anything like that, grief, whatever, trying to, and really

the intent, if you uncover it, the intent of a rescue, even when it's subconscious and typically it is subconscious is I need you

to be okay so that I'm okay like I can't I it's so unsettling for me to see you not okay and worry about what that's going to turn into,

that I need you to be okay so that I'm okay.

I mean that's at the root of it, a lot of it, and then also we can talk about this in a minute, Dr.

Aeman, who I referenced in my stories when I got into a little more detail of why I shared

about this, says his philosophy of why parents rescue and why he rescued as a younger

parent is to feed your self-esteem because when you save someone from a bad situation it gives you a sense of

self-esteem but what it also does is it robs the other person of their self-esteem

by fixing their own problems. So that's kind of like a just base level ground work for what rescuing is.

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