Today's episode is going to be about the topic of rescuing or being a rescuer.

And the reason why this topic came about was because I posted an Instagram reel yesterday about rescuing and specifically

why to not rescue your children from problems. I actually recorded it, I don't know, like a month

ago, maybe a little bit longer when we went up to L.A. and I just batched recorded a bunch of

co-de-free reels that taught different

principles of becoming Coda Free, which is the opposite of codependency or freedom from

codependency. And so this principle, there's a lot behind it and why it matters in parenting

and then also in recovery. So I wanted to start off just with like a basic understanding

of what rescuing is. And so rescuing in this sense means taking someone out of a situation

that's uncomfortable. So trying to save them from the discomfort of, you know, especially when it's

natural consequences of a choice that they made or sometimes not even. I mean, we can get

into this in a minute, but even like just trying to rescue someone from their feelings of disappointment or

discouragement or despair, you know, loss, anything like that, grief, whatever, trying to,

and really the intent, if you uncover it, the intent of a rescue, even when it's subconscious

and typically it is subconscious, is I need

you to be okay so that I'm okay. Like I can't, it's so unsettling for me to see you not okay

and worry about what that's going to turn into that I need you to be okay so that I'm okay.

I mean, that's at the root of it, a lot of it. And then also

we can talk about this in a minute, Dr. Aman, who I referenced in my stories when I got into a little

more detail of why I shared about this says his philosophy of why parents rescue and why he rescued

as a younger parent is to feed your self-esteem.

Because when you save someone from a bad situation, it gives you a sense of self-esteem.

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