265. Yes, You Can Become More Secure While Actively Dating w/ Trevor Hanson
Dating Intentionally
Talia Koren
4.7 • 596 Ratings
🗓️ 22 May 2026
⏱️ 58 minutes
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Summary
I'm chatting with Trevor Hanson, a licensed marriage and family therapist. He and his team at The Art Of Healing help people move from anxious attachment to secure attachment in a structured, results-oriented way. We get into what anxious attachment actually looks like in dating for both men and women, why you can feel totally secure when you're single but completely fall apart once a relationship starts, and what emotionally corrective experiences are, and why they're what actually rewires your nervous system, not just reading more books or gaining more self-awareness. Trevor also shares why you don't need to be fully healed before you date, how conflict, followed by repair, builds real security over time, the problem with using AI to write your texts, and more. At the end, we tackle a dating dilemma from a guy who's not sure how to follow up after sending someone a rose on Hinge.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome back to dating intentionally. I'm Talia and I'm here with no nonsense advice for navigating |
| 0:09.5 | dating and relationships with confidence and ease, whether you've been dating for a while |
| 0:13.4 | or you're just getting started. I believe dating can be fun and I'm here to help you enjoy the |
| 0:17.7 | process. Today I'm joined by Trevor Hansen from The Art of Healing. He's someone |
| 0:21.6 | I've been following for years. Trevor is a licensed marriage and family therapist who left a |
| 0:27.1 | corporate career after a really hard season of life. Now he and his team help people move from |
| 0:32.4 | anxiously attached to securely attached in a structured results oriented way that I think you're going to appreciate. |
| 0:39.3 | We get into what anxiously attached cheating looks like for both men and women and what emotionally |
| 0:45.3 | corrective experiences are and why they're what actually helps you change your attachment style. |
| 0:51.5 | It's not just insider awareness. |
| 0:53.9 | We also talk about why you don't |
| 0:55.4 | have to be fully healed before you date, how conflict and repair in a relationship can actually |
| 0:59.9 | build security over time, and why using AI to write your text is not a great idea. Trevor also |
| 1:06.0 | shares his story of meeting his wife after doing the work, including the DM he sent her. He slid into |
| 1:12.4 | her DMs. So you're going to hear that story too. At the end, we answer a dating dilemma from a guy |
| 1:17.1 | who sent a rose to someone on Hinge that he actually is friends with on Facebook and he's not |
| 1:21.7 | sure if he should ask her out directly. As always, I love hearing from you. You can DM me on |
| 1:26.5 | Instagram at dating.intentionally. |
| 1:28.6 | You can drop a comment on Spotify or email me at Talia at dating intentionallypod.com. |
| 1:33.4 | And if you prefer to watch, all these episodes are on YouTube as well. |
| 1:36.9 | We are getting close to 10,000 subscribers on YouTube. |
| 1:40.0 | So definitely go check out my channel. |
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