Hello and welcome to Kyr Talk from National Public Radio with us,

Click and Clack the Tappert Brothers,

and we're broadcasting this week from the Department of Foreign Language Translation here at Caratalk Plaza.

Somebody named Dave Newton from Thousand Oaks, California sent us this handy little translation guide,

which he pulled off the internet, which means what? He stole it.

Yeah, well...

And we don't know who the author is,

but people will write to us and tell us.

They always do.

Well, this is sort of in the spirit of our never-ending effort

to keep harmony and good relationships.

Domestic harmony.

Domestic harmony, that's it.

Yeah.

I mean, what it says here is wife speak and English equivalent, which means your wife says this, and here's what it really means.

Okay. And I just picked out a few here. On is, we need, and what that means is I want.

Ah, yeah, we need. She says, you're so manly, which means, in English, you need a shave and a shower.

This kitchen is kind of inconvenient, which means I want a new house.

That's how your wife started.

There wasn't this kitchen a little...

Those kitchen's a little small, isn't it?

No.

...