263. Q+A: "Is It Bad I Like Solo Sex Better Than Sex with My Partner?"

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 533 Ratings

🗓️ 22 April 2026

⏱️ 34 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. The Question: “Why do I enjoy sex more alone than with my boyfriend?” What We Cover: Why sex feels better alone than with your partner. Breaking down the very real (and very common) experience of enjoying solo sex more and why it doesn’t automatically mean something is wrong with you or your relationship. What actually makes the difference: intentional, pressure-free pleasure vs rushed, performative sex. Why solo sex often includes more time, curiosity, and attention to your body while partnered sex can feel goal-oriented, fast, or just plain shitty. You know your body, your partner might not. How years of self-exploration give you an advantage and why many partners haven’t developed the same level of sexual awareness or skill. Why so much sex doesn’t actually center your pleasure. Unpacking how penetration-focused sex, lack of communication, and porn-influenced expectations can leave you feeling unsatisfied. The impact of feeling unseen, unheard, or disappointed in bed. How repeated experiences of being rushed, overlooked, or not fully considered can train your body to prefer solo sex. Solo sex is real sex. Reframing masturbation as a valid, fulfilling part of your sex life that doesn’t need to compete with or be replaced by partnered sex. How to use what works alone to improve partnered sex. Practical ways to bring your self-knowledge into the bedroom with your partner. Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, you're a gem shine when the light grows dim.
0:04.3	See one, two, three, four, three, two, one.
0:08.2	Because no one can do it like who we do it, like who we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.
0:12.3	Because no one can do it like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.
0:15.7	Hello and welcome back to HoneyDumie podcast.
0:21.2	I am one of your hosts, Emma Norman.
0:24.1	Why don't I say my last one?
0:25.8	I don't know.
0:26.8	Very government official of you.
0:29.5	Yeah.
0:30.6	Thank you.
0:31.6	You're so welcome.
0:32.3	Statement for the record.
0:33.7	I'm the other one.
0:35.0	I'm the other host.
0:36.1	I'm Cass, that's ass with a C. That's also how I
0:38.9	introduced myself. Governmently. That's also my government name. That's also my government name.
0:46.0	It is. You changed your name. I can vouch for that. Legally, you changed it to ass with a C.
0:51.8	Ass with a C. There's no C. We don't know her. We don't know her. Anyways, this is our podcast where we talk about sex, relationships, mental health, all the things that we thought would be a lot easier. Come a lot more naturally based on all those cute little rom-coms we used to watch. But here we are, two bitches, not that great at sex, or we used to not be that great at sex. I feel like we're pretty good now. Honestly, I haven't been tested in a while. I still could be bad. Okay, don't out us that quickly into the episode. If they're new, we want to think we're kind of good. I know, I am trying to date still, so I don't know.
1:28.9	I'm amazing.
1:30.0	I'm so good.
1:30.5	I'm so good.
	...

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