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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

261-Your Mom's House with Christina Pazsitzky and Tom Segura

Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura

Tom Segura

Comedy, Relationships, Society & Culture, Tv & Film, Comedy Interviews

4.723.4K Ratings

🗓️ 17 October 2014

⏱️ 83 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Hope there are still no carnists listening to our show, but if there are, stop now. Otherwise picture Tommy's tongue licking the air and put whatever you want there. Also, listen to songs about it. Did you spend time with your father lately? Did he orgasm in front of you? We sure hope so. Tommy's dad, Top Dog, is back with some great advice on, you guessed it, some BROWN TALK. We have an original song that's gonna blow your jeans off, plus some Asian talk that sounds eerily familiar. Paging Sharkeisha - Honey are you there?!? If you loosen your jeans for this episode you'll never forgive yourself.

Transcript

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0:00.0

Alright, we know, we know, I know, we know that the live episode is coming through your left headphone on me.

0:09.0

I know. What happened? Is that what you're asking me? Well, we always have some issue at Cox Comedy Club with the audio.

0:17.0

I don't know what it is. It's always fun to do it there. It's not our equipment and it's not them being incompetent.

0:24.0

They're great and they do amazing sound checks with us, but for some reason, I think it's just the wiring of that place.

0:30.0

It's an older club maybe. I don't know. Maybe there's just so much coming the wires, you know.

0:36.0

Because of San Francisco? Yeah, there's the whole city's covered in it.

0:41.0

That's a really, you know, I didn't think about it. It's a really, really good analogy, a really good point actually you're making.

0:48.0

It's that all the wires are covered in it. They're doused in it and it gets sticky and then of course the wires though.

0:56.0

And actually you can blame me because I didn't check the audio afterwards because we've done shows there before.

1:01.0

And then what I could have done is sent it to our post engineer and had him basically duplicate the line so that it goes left line and right.

1:09.0

Right, right. But it was too late by the time that I heard it and I knew it when I uploaded it that it was only on one channel.

1:15.0

I could see it. So I'm sorry. You know what, Tom? I forgive you. Thank you.

1:21.0

I love you and you're a human being and it's okay. And actually yesterday I thought about sending it to him and doing that and getting it up again.

1:28.0

But I was like, what the fuck? You know what? Yeah. Yesterday was a chaotic day in the house and I'm quitting everything. So I don't get distracted.

1:36.0

I just quit my mail and stuff so I don't see emails pop up on my computer. Smart. I like it. You've always been smart.

1:44.0

So there's that. Sorry about live from San Francisco being one channel. People apparently really still like the episode. It was really fun.

1:54.0

Cox is always a good time. And by the way, I stand by my assertion that old people are afraid of the Blue Angels because of wartime.

2:03.0

Now let me preface that. I'm not saying American wars, ding-dongs. I'm saying World War II people like people like my grandmother.

2:11.0

No, no, not not. I mean people who fought people like my grandmother who lived through World War II and the Russians bombing this shit out of Hungary.

2:19.0

Guess what? They don't like the sound of planes flying overhead. Kind of bothers them. Now my grandmother didn't like it or she's dead.

2:26.0

But you ask her if she liked the Blue Angels, you know what she say? Fuck no. There you go. Said my piece.

2:41.0

It's a good song. Plains are overhead. Who is this artist? I don't know. It's somebody sent to us. It's called Insectivaria.

...

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