#261: The Importance of Pacing While Dating + Checking In
Black Girls Heal
Shena Lashey
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 17 September 2024
⏱️ 68 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of Black Girls Heal, we dive into a major milestone — our very first video podcast episode! After years of audio-only recordings, I am showing up in video to connect with you more intimately.
I start with a heartfelt check-in, sharing my personal experiences of transitions and the collective 'hell' many of us have gone through recently in various aspects of our lives.
Today's episode is all about understanding the importance of pacing in dating for love addicts, discussing how unresolved traumas, father wounds, and touch starvation can lead us to rush into relationships. Learn practical steps on how to pace yourself, maintain your identity, and find joy in your current life while still holding space for the love you desire.
Plus, get updates on the new format of the Recovery School and upcoming changes in my services. This episode is packed with insights and actionable advice to help you on your journey to healing and self-love.
In this episode, we cover…
- 04:09 Navigating personal transitions
- 06:05 Why you should embrace the unknown
- 13:22 Healthy Love vs. Love Addiction
- 19:14 The importance of pacing in relationships
- 30:06 Leveling up in healing
- 32:22 How unresolved father wounds affect pacing in relationships
- 39:09 What is touch starvation?
- 47:30 How to ground in your own life
- 54:20 Upcoming changes and announcements to Black Girls Heal
Resources mentioned in the episode:
- Ready to heal your Love Addiction & Love Avoidance? Join The Recovery School, my signature coaching program to help you become love balanced, love available, and fulfilled.
- Book a 1:1 private coaching session with Shena until November 2024.
- Can’t find a program, freebie, or event mentioned in the podcast? Click here to find the upgraded versions of previously announced programs and their replacements.
Connect with us:
- Website: Blackgirlsheal.org
- Instagram: @BlackGirlsHeal
- TikTok: @blackgirlsheal
- Facebook: Black Girls Heal
Thanks for listening, and if you like what you've heard, feel free to share this episode with your friends! There are so many amazing women waiting to discover the Black Girls Heal podcast, and I'd love you to help me spread the word. Don’t forget to come back next week for the new episode.
Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/black-girls-heal/donations
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Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | My job is to somehow make them curious enough or persuade them by Hooker Crow to get more aware of themselves and where they came from and what they are into and what is already there just to bring it out. |
| 0:21.0 | This is what compels me to compel them and I will do it by whatever |
| 0:26.4 | means necessary. |
| 0:28.4 | Welcome to the Black Girls Hill podcast where we talk about healing our intimacy disorders, |
| 0:34.3 | unresolved trauma, and building a healthy relationship with first ourselves, and then |
| 0:38.6 | others. Every episode we will talk about advice you can apply today to bring unhealthy patterns |
| 0:44.3 | and grow in your self-worth. I'm She Nelachee Love Edition coach and trauma |
| 0:48.9 | specialist. Let's begin. Hello hello and welcome to the latest episode of Black Girls Heel. |
| 0:56.0 | I am so excited to be with you this week. |
| 1:00.0 | This is a special week for three reasons. |
| 1:02.0 | The first reason is because this is my first video |
| 1:07.0 | podcast episode. I've been recording the Black Girl Tale podcast since 2016, 2017, something like that. I never know the years. Y'all |
| 1:18.8 | know that if you listen to this podcast. It's been a minute, but I have not had any video episodes. It's always been easier for me to just be bundled up in my pajamas, talking to the microphone, whenever, however, but I know I know that video is one of my favorite ways that I get to connect to other people, other creators, other teachers, and connect with them. |
| 1:45.0 | I also know that whenever I'm able to teach live, |
| 1:48.6 | and able to connect with y'all as well, |
| 1:50.7 | that's also feels so much more intimate. |
| 1:53.2 | So I actually tasked myself this year to do more video content. |
| 1:57.0 | It's been my New Year's resolution. |
| 1:59.4 | Yes, we are in September. |
| 2:01.8 | It was my New Year's resolution to put out more video content and so you've actually seen it if you follow me on social media you see a little bit of it on |
| 2:10.1 | Tik-Tock and Instagram of course you know not everyday post but a lot more than what I used to do before and then also getting into more YouTube videos and then also putting the podcast on video. |
| 2:23.0 | And so we are here, we are getting started, |
... |
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