257: Mouth Tape Nightmare & Montage It Up (with Shabana Azeez)
We're Here to Help
Headgum
4.9 • 4.5K Ratings
🗓️ 4 February 2026
⏱️ 58 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Jake and Gareth are joined by The Pitt's Shabana Azeez. Together, they banish a mouth tape demon and brainstorm the best way to enjoy a wedding dress, without getting married.
Catch Shabana on season 2 of The Pitt, now streaming on HBO Max.
See images from the episode here: https://www.heretohelppod.com/post/episode-257
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Well, good afternoon. This is your little friend, Steven Berg, and this is a message going out to all you fantastically brilliant vasectomy doctors. |
| 0:10.5 | I have a little proposal for you all. My wonderful friend and brother, Gareth Reynolds, is looking to get a bisectomy done because he is making the choice to not bring children into |
| 0:21.9 | this world. And you know what? I respect that opinion. Nobody wants a bunch of little |
| 0:26.3 | Gareth running around. Boy, try saying, try pluralizing Gareth with a list. That's not easy. |
| 0:31.8 | Nobody wants a bunch of little Gareth running around when Gareth himself doesn't want that. |
| 0:37.1 | So, doctors out there, what we are looking for, what we are wanting, if possible, is for you |
| 0:43.5 | to give our friend Gareth a vasectomy. |
| 0:47.4 | Now, we'll pay for it. |
| 0:48.3 | He's got Cobra. |
| 0:49.0 | He's got great insurance. |
| 0:50.0 | That's not the issue. |
| 0:51.8 | Here comes the little angle we're taking. |
| 0:54.3 | We would like to document this on a little thing called videotape. |
| 0:59.1 | This is a plea. |
| 1:00.6 | This is a call to all vasectomy doctors in the lower 48 in the United States. |
| 1:06.6 | Please, oh, please, let our little friend, Gareth Reynolds, get a vasectomy, and let us videotape it. |
| 1:14.7 | We're talking to hi-8, you know, like a gritty, you know, it'll look good, it'll be classy, it'll be artsy, you will come off looking like an absolute hero. |
| 1:23.6 | That's a burgundy. |
| 1:25.7 | Thank you. |
| 1:26.9 | Enjoy this message and enjoy this episode. |
| 1:29.1 | Bye-bye. |
| 1:31.6 | This is a headgum podcast. What are you got to Out. What do you like? |
... |
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