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God Awful Movies

257: Heaven's War

God Awful Movies

Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC

Comedy, Leisure, Tv & Film

4.82.7K Ratings

🗓️ 21 July 2020

⏱️ 105 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

This week, the guys team up for an atheist review of Heaven's War, the story of all the movie plots ever conceived being thrown together in a blender and then poured over a bunch of grown men playing swords.
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Our theme music is written and performed by Ryan Slotnick of Evil Giraffes on Mars. If you’d like to hear more, check out their Facebook Page: https://www.facebook.com/EvilGiraffesOnMars/?fref=ts
All our other music was written and performed by Morgan Clarke. To hear more from him, check him out here: https://www.morganclarkemusic.com/

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Okay, so the FBI wrote a program into their network that makes any of their computers

0:11.5

say out loud, breaching FBI database.

0:16.1

Well, not only that, but they even tell you what percentage breached it is.

0:23.4

I wanted this to be a Siri thing gone wrong, right?

0:25.9

Where they're just like, no, cancel breached database.

0:30.3

Booking you, beach vacation.

0:32.3

Fucking, this is Siri.

0:33.8

Stop, Siri, no, Siri, no.

0:37.6

Not awful.

0:39.6

Movie.

0:40.6

Movie.

0:41.2

Movie.

0:44.2

Movie.

0:50.2

Welcome back to the Gamecast.

0:51.5

For each week, we sample another selection from Christian Cinema because so far, none of them

0:55.1

have worked.

0:56.1

I'm your host Noah Luzonson, sitting 700 miles to my immediate left is my good friend,

0:59.9

Heath and right.

1:00.9

Heath, welcome back.

1:01.9

Thanks Noah.

1:02.9

So you know who's got a sweet, sweet beard right now?

1:06.2

No, I do not.

...

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