255 - The Comparison Episode We Were Scared to Record
Life Happens with Barb & Michelle
Michelle Maros & Barb Schmidt
4.9 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 28 April 2026
⏱️ 49 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Comparison is the one emotion everybody feels and nobody admits to — and Barb Schmidt and Michelle Maros of Life Happens with Barb & Michelle were scared to record this episode for a reason. In this raw, unfiltered conversation, they unpack the jealousy, resentment, and quiet self-destruction that comparison leaves behind — and make a case that might surprise you by the end.
From Michelle comparing her book sales to her friends' mid-tour, to Barb owning up to something she projected onto Michelle for years, this episode goes places most podcast conversations never do. If you've ever felt something ugly creep in while watching someone else win — and then felt ashamed of it — this one is for you.
What you'll take away:
- Why 85% of your daily thoughts are negative — and how comparison supercharges the loop
- How jealousy and envy are signals, not character flaws — and what they're actually pointing to
- The self-talk method for catching comparison before it turns into resentment
- Why "be better than yesterday" might be quietly doing more damage than good
- How to let comparison fuel action instead of shame
Don't risk letting comparison keep stealing your joy without ever asking what it was trying to tell you. Learn how to read it instead.
Episode Breakdown ⬇️
0:00 Introduction
0:36 Where Does Comparison Come From?
0:52 The Science of Negative Thinking
7:07 Barb's Personal Story: Childhood & Comparison
9:19 Comparing Yourself to Yourself
11:23 Comparison, Jealousy & Envy
25:09 Michelle's Story: Visiting a Friend's Family
28:22 Self-Talk as the Key Tool
39:17 Can Comparison Actually Be Helpful?
40:50 Takeaways & Closing
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Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | I want to own up to the fact that I think it was me. |
| 0:03.0 | That said that? |
| 0:04.0 | This is a big moment for me, because I don't know if you've ever actually... |
| 0:06.0 | I don't think I have. |
| 0:07.0 | In this even broad sense. And then breeding my resentment towards her, where I would then be passive-aggressive. Oh, yeah, she might have a great family, but this certainly sucks about her, or whatever it might be. I might have let myself fall into that because she has this and I don't necessarily have it. |
| 0:21.9 | I have to find something that's wrong with her in order to make myself... be. I might have let myself fall into that because she has this and I don't necessarily have it. |
| 0:21.8 | I have to find something that's wrong with her in order to make myself feel like we're on |
| 0:25.6 | level playing fields. This is going to sound controversial. I actually don't think comparison is bad. |
| 0:33.2 | Now that I think about it through this lens. Today we're talking about the thing nobody wants to admit they do, but roughly 80% of people |
| 0:41.9 | under 30 do it constantly. |
| 0:44.2 | And if we're honest, most people over 60 do it as well. |
| 0:47.9 | Welcome to Life Happens with Barb and Michelle, where we talk about all of the stuff nobody |
| 0:51.7 | warns you about. |
| 0:52.7 | Before we get into it, we want to reframe |
| 0:54.6 | something. This is not a social media is bad episode. Comparison existed long before Instagram. |
| 1:00.9 | It showed up at PTA meetings, family reunions, and office holiday parties. The phone just made it |
| 1:06.9 | 24-7. So let's talk about what's actually going on. So I think that it's never been easier |
| 1:12.6 | to compare ourselves to other people, as we know with social media. But if you're here, |
| 1:16.6 | you likely know that it didn't start with social media. And we've been comparing ourselves to |
| 1:21.2 | others since the beginning of time. I mean, you grew up, I grew up without social media. |
| 1:26.7 | And I can think of so many different |
| 1:28.7 | instances in my childhood where I instinctively had that competitive and comparative drive to |
... |
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