Welcome back to savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Jade Wu. Every week I'll help you

meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

Do you know how to be assertive?

Let's say you're at Starbucks.

You've been patiently waiting for 10 minutes in line

and you really need that caffeine hit. Then someone cuts right in front of you in line.

Which of the following is the assertive response? Do you silently resent them and throw daggers into the back of their head with your eyes?

Or do you loudly tell them they should into the back of their head with your eyes.

Or do you loudly tell them they should be ashamed of themselves

and demand their immediate retreat?

Or do you make Snide comments to your friend just loudly enough for the offender to hear about

how some people are just so entitled?

What's the answer?

Well, that was a trick question because none of those responses is assertive.

Silence is passive. Public shaming is aggressive.

Throwing eye daggers and making snide remarks are passive aggressive, the worst of both worlds. Some of these methods might get you what you want, which is closer to your coffee,

but at the cost of not being very gracious.

Maybe you don't care about being gracious at Starbucks, and that would be a totally okay choice.

But sometimes the stakes are even higher than coffee.

That's hard to imagine, I know, but let's say your boss keeps making sexist comments that make you uncomfortable.

The wrong reaction here could affect your job, even though that would be unfair. When the pressure is on, it's even harder to

walk the line between keeping peace and standing up for yourself. So what to do when you're in an awkward or unfair situation and you

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