251. Q+A: "How Do I Prioritize Myself In a Relationship?"

Honeydew Me

Cassandra Anderson

Self-improvement, Education, Sexuality, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 533 Ratings

🗓️ 28 January 2026

⏱️ 40 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this week's episode we're answering one of YOUR questions with a combination of expert tips and personal experience. The Question: "I’m 22 and in my first long-term relationship with a partner I truly love. Everything is healthy and supportive, but I’ve noticed I’ve started deferring to his routines and preferences instead of my own. I miss parts of myself, like how I used to spend my free time and make plans just for me. How do I stay true to myself while still making room for my relationship?" What We Cover in This Episode: Losing yourself in a relationship. Why this is common in early long-term relationships and how it can happen even when the partnership is healthy and loving. Staying true to yourself while partnered. Why maintaining your own identity, routines, and desires takes intention in a committed relationship. People-pleasing and resentment. How deferring to a partner’s needs and preferences can slowly lead to disconnection and frustration. Identifying what you’ve stopped prioritizing. How to recognize the hobbies, values, and personal time that have taken a backseat. Solo needs vs relationship needs. Understanding the difference between individual fulfillment and shared intimacy in a long-term relationship. How to communicate your needs. Practical language for talking to your partner about independence, boundaries, and personal time without blame. Following through with boundaries. Why awareness isn’t enough and how to actually implement change in your daily life. Rebuilding a relationship with yourself. Why solo time, self-dates, and personal routines support emotional health and relationship satisfaction. Why this improves intimacy. How staying connected to yourself strengthens attraction, communication, and long-term relationship success. ⁠Learn more about 1:1 coaching HERE!⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Get Honeydew Me Merch HERE!⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, you're a gem shine when the light grows dim.
0:04.3	See one, two, three, four, three, two, one.
0:08.0	Because no one can do it like we do it, like who we do it, like we do it, like we do it, like we do it.
0:16.0	Hello, and welcome to Honeydemy podcast. I'm Emma.
0:21.0	And I'm Cass, and this is our podcast where we talk about sex, relationships, mental health, all of the things that tend to feel a little trickier than we were told they should.
0:29.6	And that can be pretty frustrating when you're navigating it on your own thinking you were the only one experiencing all of these embarrassing problems.
0:37.4	But the thing is, your girls are here to share that we are going through the exact same
0:42.2	embarrassing problems.
0:44.2	And they're not embarrassing at all.
0:45.9	You got a body.
0:46.8	You got a skin suit.
0:48.3	It's going to do weird things.
0:49.5	It's going to do weird things.
0:50.8	It's going to make a funky sound.
0:52.7	And people just aren't being honest enough
0:55.5	about the process of smushin bodies together or touching a body. But we will. Nobody's honest
1:03.6	enough about the quiffs. The quiffs. That's fair. Honestly, I don't talk about them that much either.
1:13.1	No, I think it still feels embarrassing, embarrassing right because it's like a vagina fart and it feels i know but i like i don't know if they
1:20.4	still feel embarrassing they just feel so not my fault anymore not my problem and i love that
1:26.1	perspective i think i need to adopt that in 2026 i just don't know how it possibly could be. I wasn't doing this before someone was entering me. I'm only doing it now after. So it's your fault. It's your fault. How dare you? I think that should be the response. Yeah. And then they should have to go sit on time out.
1:45.3	Oh, I love that. And write out what they did wrong a thousand times. A thousand times.
1:50.8	Yeah. Carved it into their skin. Just kidding. I was thinking the exact same thing. Well, that was from
	...

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