25-Year Divorce Lawyer: These 3 Things Destroy Every Marriage
Lights On with Carl Lentz
B-Side
4.8 • 797 Ratings
🗓️ 3 September 2025
⏱️ 73 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this brutally honest episode of Lights On, Carl and Laura Lentz sit down with James Sexton, one of America's most renowned divorce attorneys, for a conversation that could save your marriage. After 25 years representing high-profile divorces, James reveals the three guaranteed ways men destroy their marriages - and why 56% of all marriages end in his office. This isn't your typical relationship advice; it's a masterclass in reverse psychology from someone who's seen thousands of marriages collapse.
James breaks down the death spiral that leads couples from "I do" to "I'm done," the shocking statistic that 86% of divorced people remarry within 5 years, and why most people love their choices more than their children. From the simple act of "seeing" your spouse to the dangerous habit of keeping score, this conversation exposes the patterns that predict divorce with startling accuracy.
Whether you're newlyweds, struggling in your marriage, or simply want to understand what really makes relationships work, this episode delivers hard truths wrapped in hope. Carl and Laura share their own journey through infidelity and recovery, while James provides the roadmap to avoid becoming another statistic.
Warning: This episode contains frank discussions about marriage failure, infidelity, and the kind of honest conversations most couples never have about what it really takes to stay together.
Follow Carl at: https://www.instagram.com/carllentz/
Follow Laura at: https://www.instagram.com/lauralentz/
Follow James at: https://www.instagram.com/nycdivorcelawyer/
Supported by God Behind Bars - https://godbehindbars.com
Supported by Plana - https://plana.org/
CHAPTERS:
00:00 - INTRO
02:08 - The Shocking Marriage Statistics Nobody Talks About
11:25 - The 3 Marriage Killers Every Couple Does
20:10 - God Behind Bars Partnership
20:47 - Stop Seeing Your Wife: The First Marriage Destroyer
26:41 - Frame Everything Critically: The Communication Killer
34:55 - Keep Score: The Transactional Marriage Trap
40:25 - Plana.org Partnership
41:06 - The Death Spiral: How Marriages Collapse Slowly, Then All at Once
49:23 - When Do You Feel Most Loved? Laura's Answer Will Surprise You
57:38 - Marriage as Ecosystem: Why It's Not About Fairness
1:04:50 - Who Gets Screwed Most in Divorce? The Uncomfortable Truth
1:09:32 - Rolling Your Eyes: The Silent Marriage Killer
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Lights on. |
| 0:01.0 | You didn't have to lean in, remember. |
| 0:02.0 | I know, but I do it every time. |
| 0:04.0 | Can't help yourself. |
| 0:05.0 | I'm incapable of not pretending I'm on radio. |
| 0:08.0 | James Sexton. |
| 0:10.0 | Carl Lenz. |
| 0:12.0 | Thought leader, provoker, extraordinary, who happens to be one of the most renowned divorce lawyers that we have in culture right now. |
| 0:24.8 | We have become friends. |
| 0:27.4 | And I love who you are. |
| 0:29.1 | Thank you for doing this with us. |
| 0:30.6 | I'm so happy to be here. |
| 0:32.3 | I have taken sort of a step back from doing a lot of appearances after a long run of it, |
| 0:38.9 | but because of our friendship and also because every single time I talk to you, I enjoy it and I'm smiling like this. |
| 0:46.4 | And also is finally my chance to meet Laura. |
| 0:48.8 | Yes. |
| 0:49.1 | This is like the piece that was missing of our, because there's so much bro energy between the two of us when we come together. |
| 0:56.2 | It's like a supernova of bro activity. |
| 0:58.5 | And it really needs a little feminine balance to bring it back home. |
| 1:02.5 | So I'm so happy to be here. |
| 1:05.2 | I cannot tell you how excited I was for this. |
| 1:09.5 | And normally, and even some of the most amazing, you know, things I've been on, I find myself going like, oh, yeah, I got to do that today. And this, I really was like, oh, my God, I can't wait. Like, I get to do like Carl and Laura this week. I can't wait. So this is a genuine pleasure. I'm really, really happy to be sitting down with both of you and really happy to. I mean, we had to meet earlier, but I'm really, really glad we get to do this. |
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