Welcome back to savvy psychologist. I'm Dr. Ellen Hendrickson and every week I'll help

you meet life's challenges with evidence-based research, a sympathetic ear, and zero judgment.

So this week, what is the deal with not apologizing?

M&M says no apologies.

Demi Lovato is sorry not sorry and Gibbs on NCIS says rule number six is never

apologize. Any one of them might have gotten the idea from the original, John Wayne, who delivers his famous line in 1949's she wore a yellow ribbon.

Never apologize. It's a sign of weakness.

Now even status quo customer service rules say not to apologize.

Apparently, customers interpret the word sorry

as an admission that your product or service is lousy.

Therefore, apologizing is discouraged. that your

flexibility is lousy.

The mystery is discouraged and replaced by exasperating phrases like,

Thank you for your flexibility.

The mystery is only confounded by studies that show how helpful a good apology can be.

So for instance, many doctors are told to avoid apologies because it looks like an admission

of fault, which might cause patients to sue them.

However, not receiving an apology for a bad medical outcome makes patients mad,

which, according to a study in the Lancet, is the main reason that patients sue their doctors.

And the result is a vicious cycle.

Thankfully, the implementation of apology laws that declare an apology is not evidence of liability has allowed

doctors to apologize, patients to feel heard, and the costs associated with

...