#248: The Problem with Toxic Positivity with Whitney Goodman

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Relationships, Society & Culture

4.9 • 5K Ratings

🗓️ 8 December 2022

⏱️ 45 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Themes: Toxic Positivity, Social Media, Authenticity, Parenting, Mental Health Summary: Meet Whitney Goodman, LMFT — a radically honest psychotherapist behind the hugely popular Instagram account @sitwithwhit, author, and the owner of The Collaborative Counseling Center, a virtual therapy practice in Florida. Whitney's debut book, Toxic Positivity: Keeping it Real in a World Obsessed with Being Happy, shows readers how to shift the goal from being happy to being authentic in order to live fully. In this episode, we discuss toxic positivity and how a “good vibes only” mentality, while good-intentioned, can actually backfire when we’re denying and dismissing the hardships of life. Discover: What the term toxic positivity means, and why constantly striving to maintain a positive outlook isn’t actually helpful or realistic when it comes to mental health How social media perpetuates toxic positivity and shame through an absence of realness How to avoid the anxiety and comparison that comes with the constant positivity on social media Why keeping it real and not forcing positivity leads to deeper, more sincere connections The best way you can show up for someone who’s going through a hard time 00:00 Intro 01:01 Toxic positivity 02:51 Cultural gaslighting 03:24 Gratitude, toxic positivity & the internet 04:47 History of toxic positivity 08:06 The absence of realness on social media 10:53 Social media boundaries 12:59 The cultural shift beyond constant positivity 15:00 The effects of toxic positivity on connection 21:14 Connection between cancel culture and toxic positivity 24:18 Toxic positivity in relationships 28:01 Stop trying to save people 31:51 Relationships with parents 37:00 Gender roles in parenting 38:42 Life without a smartphone and the internet 41:42 Living in alignment with your values Links: Website | sitwithwhit.com Book | Toxic Positivity Instagram | @sitwithwhit Sponsors: Organifi | Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off your next order at organifi.com/createthelove Create the Love Cards | Use code CTLCARDS15 for 15% off at createthelove.com/cards Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0	During the pandemic, I saw a huge shift in like the public discourse around this topic that people were really like, I am tired of people just telling me that I should smile and agree and get on with my life.
0:13.3	And it became much more normal to talk about this phenomenon.
0:17.6	Hi, I'm Mark Groves. I'm a human connection specialist and founder of
0:21.6	Create the Love. At an early point in my life, I became obsessed with understanding relationships,
0:26.8	the intricacies of how people connect. And through this exploration, I have created a life
0:32.2	in a business dedicated to learning out loud and exploring how we interact with each other
0:37.1	in the world.
0:38.5	This podcast brings the world's top thought leaders, spiritual luminaries, physicians,
0:42.9	scientists, researchers, bestselling authors and health and wellness experts under one roof
0:48.0	to discuss the good, the bad, the messy, and of course the beautiful parts of the human experience.
0:54.4	Welcome to the Mark Groves podcast. I can't wait to dive in with you.
1:01.3	I'm so excited to welcome Whitney Goodman. Hello. Hello. Thanks for having me.
1:06.6	Well, I had to have you on here. One, because I've been following you for so damn long that it's like, okay, it's about time that we make this. We upgrade our digital relationship. We've almost made it into the 3D. So I consider this close. It's close. But now you give me an excuse to go to Florida. There you go. And the other reason I had to have you on is because I feel like you can solve our problem
1:27.5	of the Internet.
1:28.7	That's no big task that we are just infected with toxic positivity or the illusion of positivity.
1:37.4	I mean, how would you even define toxic positivity?
1:40.3	Toxic positivity is really the unrelenting pressure to be happy and positive all the time.
1:47.6	I like to define it relationally as when we offer someone a very simple solution for a complicated
1:54.5	problem that we know nothing about. And I think that's a lot of what we see on the internet when it
2:00.3	comes to that toxicly positive advice.
2:03.6	So some of that would be what, like, oh, just get on with it.
2:07.4	Or, yeah, like, what would it sound like?
	...

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