247: Post-Nut Packing (Drake's Album is INSANE, Trev Has SCORPIONS?, Michael B. Fingering)

Stiff Socks

Trevor Wallace and Michael Blaustein | Audioboom Studios

Stand-up, Comedy

4.8 • 7.3K Ratings

🗓️ 11 October 2023

⏱️ 72 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

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OUR LIVES ARE FALLING APART. Trev has a scorpion infestation and Michael is still houseless. They riff on the worst ways to get rid of scorpions, some of the most insane lyrics from the new Drake album, and why IHOP steak tips are the best choice after a night of fingering. Plus they hear from a listener that has to fantasize during coitus and learn about Joe Budden's very bad day.

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Transcript

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0:00.0	I can't catch sex in the girls and get off.
0:02.2	I'll kill myself.
0:03.1	It's not, it's not so cool.
0:05.8	I care.
0:07.0	Pfft.
0:08.0	Head is crazy.
0:09.3	Can you tell me what's happening?
0:11.0	Head is crazy.
0:12.0	That's a guy who's never got a head before.
0:13.9	No, because you eat the mouth, the tongue.
0:17.7	Mouths are crazy.
0:19.0	Well, what's crazy are mouth or a hand?
0:20.8	Head, you can knit, but then you can also fucking,
0:24.0	you give a mouth, you also do like the Gettysburg address,
0:27.8	and then also fucking, you pop your head, like, yeah.
0:31.0	The pen is muddier than the sword.
0:32.7	The mouth, you know what I'm saying?
0:34.0	Yeah.
0:35.0	The mouth is muddier than the sword.
0:36.2	What body part do we use the least?
0:38.8	Take what?
0:39.8	Tonsils?
	...

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