246: Assassin 33 A.D.

God Awful Movies

Puzzle in a Thunderstorm, LLC

Comedy, Leisure, Tv & Film

4.8 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 5 May 2020

⏱️ 119 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

On this week’s episode: Eli and Heath combine forces with stand-up comedian Johnny Taylor to review Assassin 33 AD, a movie about Islamic extremists using time travel to kill Jesus Christ and stop Christianity from ever happening.
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You can find Johnny Taylor on Twitter here: https://twitter.com/hipsterocracy

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Elevates your summer nights with all the indulgence of the new Magnum Double Star Chaser.
0:08.0	It crack in chocolate, popcorn flavor, and rich caramel sauce for the night.
0:15.0	Pleasure is always on. Magnum, true to pleasure.
0:21.0	Was he taking DNA from Jesus?
0:26.0	Yup. In order to make an army of clones?
0:31.0	Don't tease me because I was so hoping this movie was going to finish with them having to fight a bunch of evil Jesus clones.
0:38.0	Yes! Thank you, that's an amazing movie! That's such a good twist here they could have done.
0:43.0	It's the only promise the movie makes that it doesn't deliver on.
0:48.0	It could have been so cool. Maybe we're gonna say just found out Jesus was the real killer of Nicole Simpson and Ron Gold.
0:54.0	God awful movie!
1:03.0	Welcome back to God awful movies. For each week we watch another terrible movie so you don't have to.
1:16.0	I'm your host, T. Thinwright, and sitting about 600 miles to my left is my good friend Eli Bosnick.
1:21.0	Eli, welcome back. Thank you, Heath. You know who's a great actor? Who's that?
1:26.0	Heidi Montag.
1:31.0	I wanted to see way more of her after the hills. Yeah, absolutely. And her husband Spencer Pratt.
1:36.0	Yeah, they're doing great. They're crushing it. She's gonna be in this movie.
1:40.0	And sitting somewhere better, I must assume, is our guest maskist and stand up comedian Johnny Taylor,
1:48.0	who's had two different number one comedy albums on iTunes and Amazon and is also a writer for Hard Times.
1:54.0	Johnny, welcome to the show. Thanks so much for having me. It's good to be here.
1:58.0	Fantastic. And what a movie. Yeah. I'm thinking about it right now. I'm not getting any.
2:05.0	I'm very confused. I'm very, very confused. I've been thinking about it since I've watched it.
2:10.0	It was baffling. Well, all right. Let's get ready to it. Johnny, what are we gonna be breaking down today?
	...

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